The responses to the religiously-themed adult entertainment business owner are here. Nobody reads these things anymore, so that's fine. I don't need readers. I write this for me. And if you DO stumble across this and are reading this, you get an added bonus: at the end of this post, I'll give you a killer recipe to prepare the most amazing steak ever.
Again, these are only the responses worth reading...
And by the way, why is everyone a goddamn screenwriter?!
1
Devout Aheist 2. First Date We will make Porno Movie featuring Teenage Cub-scout's in Staring Role. I would make you Come with my Right Hand, You would be Squealing in Ecstasy. You get out Your Paddle and Whip that Cub-scout into Submission. As He Beg's for Mercy, you Slide in you're Black 8" Strap on. He is Face down in Blue Cub-scout Cap as You Fuck him Hard for the Camera
2
Devout Atheist in Van Nuy's. You're Biz Crack's me up!!!! Happily Divorced Music Pirate with 4'000 song's
3
Boy I bet Your inbox has just exploded!!!!!
So I am sure you don't need to read an essay here.
Tell You what, If you don't throw up, when you open
the attached picture (No don't worry it's clean) then
drop me a quick mail back and I will tell you about
the unspeakable thing I did in the Vatican!!! ;-)
Oh and BTW I have a doctorate in theology
(Seriously!!!)
Oh and BTBTW One has just to love the idea of the
dancing Mary Magdalene act :-)
Oh and BTBTBTW First Date...... Hmmm we could write
a new religion for the American market. It only has to
be vaugly self consistant and should involve a lot of
giving ;-)
Hope to hear from you soon (If one of us doesn't get
stuck down first ;-) )
Regards M.
(Who just happens to look like a cross between Gary
Oldman and Satan). Have I overplayed this whole
Religion thing????? ;-) Nah.
4
let's like, I don't know maybe meet each other t in a
public place, sit across from one another and without
letting anyone around us know, we look into each
others eyes and talk-- I mean-- hold on--here's the
crazy part-- we actually speak honestly from the heart
and actually show one another--and maybe any voyuers-
who we truely are--no fake fronts, bullshit games,
scamming angles-- just two people seeing if they can
simply connect--
too crazy??
5 (bizarro follow-up email to the one above)
This is my 2nd e-mail, no I'm not a pyscho stalker...
I first responded with the let’s do something crazy
and talk … but then I got to thinking, since you
divulged so much, you deserve to know more why I feel
we’d be good for one another.
You see, I get you; I am you. I’ve always been a
dreamer but then become a doer! After my brief pro
football career ended in being bedridden for 6 months
with temporary paralysis, I traveled Europe before
successfully owning and operating my own State Farm
Insurance agency. Needing a new challenge, I studied
acting at a top conservatory and began performing
plays locally in the Midwest. Wanting more, I then
began coaching basketball at a Division three college.
You see in high school I was a two-sport jock who
also excelled in basketball. Yes, I’m tall-6’5. And
I get how people rush to judgment. I was always seen
as the big dumb jock and was expected to act as
such--the big beer drinking, wild partying, womanizer
homophobic who gets in bar fights. When really, I’m a
sensitive brilliant almost gifted genius capable of
affectionate love and intimacy. Secretly writing
poetry, feeling like no one gets me and having to keep
moving to avoid falling into the growing void deep in
my soul.
I’ve always lived life outside the box, outside
society standards, and on my own terms. I graduated
college with Dean list honors but must confess I
cheated my way through. I began working at age 10 and
have financially supported myself ever since buying my
first car and driving illegally at age 15. I’ve loved
and lost. Or should I say I love and be burned.
Beginning with my first love getting pregnant behind
my back by a teammate, and last ending catching my
fiancé’ in bed with another man. She set it up.
Apparently she was sexually molested as a child and
couldn’t handle being loved- blah blah blah. I tried
getting her help, but people eventually have to help
themselves.
So I did, I sold my agency, pack up the truck and
headed to Beverly-that was a Beverly Hills
reference-hey you made a full house one! I moved to
Van Nuys, sight unseen and began my acting career- I
booked my first audition- a national commercial and
have worked steadily ever since.
Of course that’s wasn’t enough, so I began writing. I
wrote a script that people liked so I tried producing,
staring and directing. I shot a quarter of it on 35
mm with some pretty successful people but couldn’t
find distribution or raise the rest of the money
because I was a no name- so it’s now in the hands of
my agent trying to peddle it. So now I keep busy by
finishing my novel—about breaking false society and
parental conditionings in the search of unconditional
love and acceptance of self and others so we can find
intimacy. You see, I think we all just want to love
and be loved—but nobody knows how!
I no longer drink, do drugs or play games. I'm very
spiritual. I try to eat healthy, and workout
everyday. I enjoy feeling good. Being happy. No
chaos or drama. So if you want to connect with
someone-emotionally-someone who actually gets it- who
may understand you more than you understand
yourself-like how you just want to feel special and
important -- who may get how you just want to be held,
and wish at least one person will always have your
back and never let you down! --Someone who you can
trust to be honest and never play you. Who can accept
you and all your neurotic flaws--and not want to judge
or control or possess you but still treat you with
respect while still being able to have unbelievable
nasty sex and make love at times? Let me know.
6
Hello,
Sitting home on a quiet Saturday night with a glass of wine and a book and unable to focus, I found myself on Craigslist reading your post. Religiously themed adult enteraintment -- well, that definitely fills a much needed niche in American society and I'm impressed that you've been able to make a nice career by finding something unique to do.
I also feel it's important to keep work and fun separate and I enjoy leaving my work at the door. I also feel like I've accomplished alot in 25 years (a masters degree, a great career, incredible friends) and yes, I am real as per your post. Something witty to prove this? Well, I'm probably about the only person you know who went all the way to Pamplona, Spain for the Running of the Bullls...and got kicked out.
I don't want to drone on forever, but I hope you'd be interested in chatting a bit. If not, best of luck to you.
Take care,
B
7
Hello. I’m loads of fun. I have no reason to shave my palms, nor do I have any Elephant Man-like features. Oh, I also smell nice and know how to eat with utensils.
More about me:
Caucasian
6’0, 180 (I’m in excellent shape.)
Blue eyes, dark brown hair
Age: 34
Irish-Italian
High school English teacher
Two master’s degrees (journalism and education)
Interests: music, reading, writing, exercise, sports, and trying new things. (I know the last part sounds cliché, but it’s true.)
Originally from Chicago
I hope to hear from you soon. –D
8
You sound very interesting. A degree in Theology, I'm sure you could
teach me a few things. Mary Magdalene in a g-string? Wow, would like
to see that. Anyways, I'm 37, swm, very good shape and younger than I
seem. I'm in the TV/music biz and love what I do, but also need to
blow off steam. Also work on some radio on the side, to that we have
in common, oh yeah, I also dress up in G-strings on the weekends (just
kidding). Love to hear music of all kinds, especially jazz, blues &
Rock. I work in Van Nuys, so I'm probably right around the corner. In
fact I'm here right now, so hit me back! We'll go to some local dive
bar!
9
Hello. My name is T**** and I am ten years older than you. I'm also a half Black half Italian who grew up between Montreal and Brooklyn. I'm 6ft 190lbs and I don't care how you look unless you have an extra limb or something. That wouldn't rule you out but it might take me a while to get used to you. I am a former boxer who is now a writer. I write short scripts for money. It is my goal to write novels. I'm now in the process of forming a production co with a friend. I also work part time as a phone psychic. It helps me pay the bills. I don't smoke or drink. I also write and sometimes perform music and I sometimes do stand up comedy to work out dialogue for my scripts. I'm usually quiet but not the least bit shy. Have an interest in history, theology, music, science, and hopefully you. I'm looking for one person who is also looking for one person. And if I ever work for you I'd have to play Jebus...Jesus younger jealous brother. If you'd like to talk mail me your number or call me. 8** *** **** Bye for now.
10
OK, I must say you at least sound very intriguing to me to say the least. I am a 31 SWM that has been in the SFV for a couple of months. I finished my Masters in Computer Science and moved here for a job..
What would we do on a "first date". Well, I honestly am sure we could fill several hours talking so I think some place where we could do that comfortably would be ideal. I think walking around an amusement park would fulfill that need. The thrill of maybe plunging to our deaths if a rollercoaster falls off its track while discussing the finer points of life.
Anyways your sense of humor has to be killer.....
Good luck!
W
11
Wow, what a posting. You I want to meet. I am a doctor here in LA. I am afraid we would not go anywhere distracting on the first date because I want to talk to you. Jesus in a G-string? Jesus. I got a poem I wrote aabout televangelists. Here you go:
To err is human, to forgive devine
speaks the one with flowing robes
and as you kneel and pray he steals you blind
in the name of the holy ghost
he'll deliver you all from the gates of hell
each one of you young and old
and as he smiles in his benevolence
the light glints off the gold
when evil dons the guise of faith
and love is used for gain
then satan need choose his hottest place
for one so calloused to feel the pain
12
hello, yes I have jokes - I also dont care what you have or dont do ...
Im VGL euro-cuban mix, tall, tan, and well good-looking ... bored I just
broke up with two girls their jealousness drove me insane!!!
I live in Brentwood would love to meet and get to know ya.
K
13
Hi there, I think you should get dressed casual and get in your car and come over to meet a stranger who will be a gentleman and treat you very nice, just like an old friend. You will sit and talk and eat something we order to be delivered. Have a drink or beer or toke and relax and talk about where we would both like a first date. You have to meet someone before you go out. I'm in Van Nuys and a little older than you but loved your post and wanted to say hello. If you would like I will send photo. Have fun!!! B.
14
I have to write you first of all because "Jesus in a G String" is
awesome...wow what a concept.
If we were to have a "date" ...
Perhaps some piano playing / lesson fun
Tacos or Sushi
Some kind of Nature hike
Conversations of The Bliss of Now and the Potential of the Future
Hope you find a cool hang
Peace Love and Harmony
A.
And those are the responses. I hope you are ready for...
The Steak Recipe
As promised, here's how you make a killer steak. Go buy yourself a cast iron pan (cheap--about $7 at Walmart). Heat that bastard up on your stove at the highest heat your range can manage. Crank your oven up to 550 degrees and wait a few minutes. Salt and pepper each side of your steak. NOW, take some sesame oil and put it in the pan. Chuck your steak in. Wait 30 seconds. FLIP. Wait another 30 seconds. FLIP. Throw the pan in the oven for 2 minutes. FLIP. Wait two minutes. Pull the steak out and let the juices drain off the meat. Serve. There you go: a perfect steak in less than 10 minutes. You can thank me later.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment