New Yorkers. So fun. 20 kajillion people packed into an area smaller than a backyard in an LA suburb.
Their responses follow. I don't even look at the pictures anymore, but I'm pretty sure I got several dick pictures because I see several emails that just say things like, "Eat this!" or other equally sophomoric things. I won't include those.
I'll begin with the very last email received...
0
Your posting has been flagged down by craigslist users.
Approximately 98% of postings removed by flagging are in violation of craigslist posting guidelines.
Please make sure you are abiding by all posted site rules, including our terms of use: ...yada yada yada. We're used to this by now, right?
1
Amazing,
I love that you are asking for parental references. It almost makes me
want to answer this challenge. I don't think I have ever had to apply for
anything in my life that required so much info. I have to say that right
off the bat, this date does'nt look like it has fun written all over it.
But I respect that as a woman, you have to be careful about who and where.
So good luck and best wishes, I think I am too much of a fly by the seat of
my pants kind of guy for you.
2
hi there i am colin not colin farrell i am 29 from nyc i am single would love to show you i aint one of the guys i hope you pick me thanks
3
oh ya,like any guy will do that, you dont even post apicture, i highly doubt the accuracy of that so called story in watts???[ya fucking right]please get back on your meds
4
sounds like you want to steal somebody else's identity
5
Who needs someone like you ?
6
I think you should be a comedian :-), or a private investigator... It took you a few months to decide to leave the guy who wanted to kill you. I think you need to take a second look of your college transcript!
7
I just read your post, and found your stories amazing! A guy tried to have you killed, and your body dumped in Santa Monica (my mother lived there years ago), and it took you several months to break up with him after that?!?! Then a guy steals from you on one date, and tries to kill you aging with peanuts on a second? Absolutely incredible. Hopefully you will realize that NY guys are different.
As for me, I have never tried to kill anyone, have never appeared on America's Most Wanted, and don't keep peanuts around the house (sometimes I put them in spicy Thai noodles when I make them - but I can use cashews instead). I am 5'11", with reddish brown hair, hazel green eyes, a football player build, d/d free and a non smoker. I have a good career (cop for 16 years), and am college educated (Cum Laude from a Catholic college in NYC). I enjoy live music, cooking (no peanuts...I know), travel, comedies, the outdoors, exploring the city and reading about history. If you are interested, and would like to know more, please let me know.
8
You can't imagine how bad I felt for you reading that.
I just want to reassure you that there are good guys
out there. I like to think of myself as one of them. I
'd like to buy you a coffee or maybe lunch? You choose
the place and you can bring whoever you want...cop,
big brother, bar bouncer, pit bull. It may or may not
lead to anything, but I just want to show you nice
guys really exist. Thanks for your time and I really
do hope to hear from you soon.
B***
9
I'm sorry for the past experiences you had; it's very tragic. Just a bit of advice...you have some serious trust issues and perhaps online dating is not the most suitable medium for you to get to know people. I'm not saying that you should absolutely trust anyone you don't know but the items you are asking for will put a strain on you getting to know anyone unless they the same kind of person you are. Anyhow, good luck to you...I hope your wounds will heal.
10
He tried to kill you and you broke up A COUPLE OF MONTHS LATER! WTF?
11
Wow. You waited 2 months to break up with a guy who just tried to
kill you???
And another guy tried to kill you with peanuts???
Where were you picking these guys up? SanQuentin? Were they giving
away free passes to the looney bin??
Sorry if that appears to be insulting, but I just have a hard time
believing...well, any of that. In all my years, I have never before
met a woman who fits the phrase "Hard Luck Woman" to this degree.
Restless Leg Syndrome, allergies to peanuts, and willing to date a
guy who actually IS carrying a weapon. Wow. I wish you luck.
12
You're a mess! lol Totally been beaten down by the
man..so-to-speak. Wow horrific stories - they must
grow men differently out in La? lol Strange and
pathetic. Anyway love to chat more about your life
history too - sound very much like a movie we need to
script!
13
theres a reason your single
14
Sorry to hear that.
But most all women bring it upon themselves because you go with the bad boy type that you either want to change into a good guy, or you go with a bad boy who you think is a good guy, but women have NO IDEA how to judge things especially a man.
The good guys to you are boring, predictable, not exciting and no fun.
When you use false criteria like boring, predictable, exciting and fun to judge a "Good man" or a man that you want to date from all the other character traits that you women SHOULD be looking for, that's what you end up getting.
I've heard these same disaster stories literally thousands of times over because women choose men based of illusory criteria because women just wanna have fun. It's a deception but women love deception since that's more fun then truth.
15
I'm honestly wondering if this is a serious ad or wether your joking....for some reason curiosity's really getting the better of me here.
-shy
16
Hi,
I read your post, its very interesting. You seem like a sweet woman, however whatever might of happen to you in the past is something you will never forget of course, but you got to move on.
I have met a lot of people on Craigslist, mostly making new friends this way, since I'm still new to the city. A word of advise, just meet someone in a big public place, such as a restaurant in Times Square or another location. This is perfectly safe. I think you asking for parents names, university records, etc is just a bit over doing it.
If you asked any respectful woman or guy, chances are she/he would tell you being safe is great, but your being paranoid. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully you are seeking professional help for your past misfortunes in life.
17
You sound like a real treat.
18
Youre a real psycho, but I like crazy girls and I think we should talk
19
Is this a serious ad?? If it is, I think Id like to meet just because you have some interesting stories to tell.... I thought I had stories, but no body ever tried to kill me and hide my body!
As far as your list of demands..... a pic is attached. you wont meet my mother or father, even if things developed, for quite a while. I dont share my fmaily with others until Im ready, which takes along time. An official college transcript?? How about I show you the 3 degrees on my desk at work; the seals are real, as I dont know of nay structural engineers that can 'fake it'. I have no food allergies, although Im not really a big fan of certain chinese food. my work history for past five years has been engineering company, engineering compnay , engineering company. you can look at my resume if you like. and our first date will only consist of either a meeting for coffee or an after work martini. An itinerary is unecessary because I dont even know if youre attractive yet. We do the meet n greet in a public place and go from there. Dont you think I would be a little nervous and want to meet in public too? Youre a stranger in nyc to me as well.....so we both procedd cautiously.... But I would give it a try becasue you sound NOT typical, which I dig.
And for physical stuff...Im 6'4, 170 lbs, blue eyes, blondish brown messy hair, did some modeling in the past, thin with a swimmers build, and a little bit dorky. And I live in brooklyn
-m******
20
thats the craziest story I ever read really---wow is ot true pr are
you a professional writer--geez man--sorry to hear--
im a normal guy--on the boring side--in NYC--send me a pic before I
write you again--I dont like peanuts either...haha
P***
Sunday, April 15, 2007
CL Ad: LA to New York
This is one of the crown jewels in my fraudulent personal ad crown. It was strange, and got many even stranger responses. This has inspired me in many ways. I am hoping to write another one for our New York friends any day now.
Starting Fresh in New York
I just moved here from Los Angeles and am trying to start fresh. I'm new to New York, and would love to meet a guy to take me around and show me what this place has to offer (but with certain conditions which you'll find out about later).
Up front, I'll tell you I've had it pretty rough recently. I haven't dated in a while because the last date I went on ended pretty badly. My exboyfriend and I got lost and we ended up in a bad part of LA off of the 105 (Watts if you know where that is). It was nighttime and he said he needed to fill up the car so we exited the freeway (though I told him not to). He pulled off onto a side street, got out of the car (and took the keys with him), and jumped into another waiting car and took off. These guys from the area (gang people) came and were supposed to kill me and hide my body under the Santa Monica pier(my boyfriend paid them to do it), but we just ended up driving around all night and they took me home. We broke up a couple months later, and since then I've had major trust issues with guys.
Before that, another guy I was dating (not really a boyfriend) stole my identity and sold it to undocumented workers (though let me say up front that I am NOT anti-immigration and totally don't blame the woman that ended up using my identity). And before that, the same boyfriend hid peanuts in my food though he knew I was (and am) allergic. Bad run with men.
That said, it's been a few years, and though the scars of a bad relationship never heal, it's time to move on. I want to see other guys. I wanted to get away from LA and came here. If you want to show me around Brooklyn and hang out and show me some good places to eat, I'm totally up for it. HOWEVER, I ask for the following:
1) A recent picture
2) TWO references (including your mother and/or father if possible)
3) Official transcripts from your college or university (which you can get me later, but no later than second date)
4) A list of food allergies
5) A complete itinerary of our first date, including addresses of where we'll be going
6) Work history for the last five years
I am only willing to travel during the day AND on public transportation. If you have a car, leave it at home. Also, if you have weapons of any kind (mace, pepper spray, handgun, etc), you must be willing to either leave them with my doorman during our date or leave them at home. If we go to a movie, the movie can be no longer than 90 minutes (restless leg syndrome). If you do show me some of the local places to eat, please make sure ahead of time that they have vegetarian dishes made WITHOUT peanuts (most other nuts are acceptable).
I look forward to hearing from you!
Starting Fresh in New York
I just moved here from Los Angeles and am trying to start fresh. I'm new to New York, and would love to meet a guy to take me around and show me what this place has to offer (but with certain conditions which you'll find out about later).
Up front, I'll tell you I've had it pretty rough recently. I haven't dated in a while because the last date I went on ended pretty badly. My exboyfriend and I got lost and we ended up in a bad part of LA off of the 105 (Watts if you know where that is). It was nighttime and he said he needed to fill up the car so we exited the freeway (though I told him not to). He pulled off onto a side street, got out of the car (and took the keys with him), and jumped into another waiting car and took off. These guys from the area (gang people) came and were supposed to kill me and hide my body under the Santa Monica pier(my boyfriend paid them to do it), but we just ended up driving around all night and they took me home. We broke up a couple months later, and since then I've had major trust issues with guys.
Before that, another guy I was dating (not really a boyfriend) stole my identity and sold it to undocumented workers (though let me say up front that I am NOT anti-immigration and totally don't blame the woman that ended up using my identity). And before that, the same boyfriend hid peanuts in my food though he knew I was (and am) allergic. Bad run with men.
That said, it's been a few years, and though the scars of a bad relationship never heal, it's time to move on. I want to see other guys. I wanted to get away from LA and came here. If you want to show me around Brooklyn and hang out and show me some good places to eat, I'm totally up for it. HOWEVER, I ask for the following:
1) A recent picture
2) TWO references (including your mother and/or father if possible)
3) Official transcripts from your college or university (which you can get me later, but no later than second date)
4) A list of food allergies
5) A complete itinerary of our first date, including addresses of where we'll be going
6) Work history for the last five years
I am only willing to travel during the day AND on public transportation. If you have a car, leave it at home. Also, if you have weapons of any kind (mace, pepper spray, handgun, etc), you must be willing to either leave them with my doorman during our date or leave them at home. If we go to a movie, the movie can be no longer than 90 minutes (restless leg syndrome). If you do show me some of the local places to eat, please make sure ahead of time that they have vegetarian dishes made WITHOUT peanuts (most other nuts are acceptable).
I look forward to hearing from you!
Monday, April 9, 2007
Responses: Mary Magdalene Was Here and She Took It All Off
The responses to the religiously-themed adult entertainment business owner are here. Nobody reads these things anymore, so that's fine. I don't need readers. I write this for me. And if you DO stumble across this and are reading this, you get an added bonus: at the end of this post, I'll give you a killer recipe to prepare the most amazing steak ever.
Again, these are only the responses worth reading...
And by the way, why is everyone a goddamn screenwriter?!
1
Devout Aheist 2. First Date We will make Porno Movie featuring Teenage Cub-scout's in Staring Role. I would make you Come with my Right Hand, You would be Squealing in Ecstasy. You get out Your Paddle and Whip that Cub-scout into Submission. As He Beg's for Mercy, you Slide in you're Black 8" Strap on. He is Face down in Blue Cub-scout Cap as You Fuck him Hard for the Camera
2
Devout Atheist in Van Nuy's. You're Biz Crack's me up!!!! Happily Divorced Music Pirate with 4'000 song's
3
Boy I bet Your inbox has just exploded!!!!!
So I am sure you don't need to read an essay here.
Tell You what, If you don't throw up, when you open
the attached picture (No don't worry it's clean) then
drop me a quick mail back and I will tell you about
the unspeakable thing I did in the Vatican!!! ;-)
Oh and BTW I have a doctorate in theology
(Seriously!!!)
Oh and BTBTW One has just to love the idea of the
dancing Mary Magdalene act :-)
Oh and BTBTBTW First Date...... Hmmm we could write
a new religion for the American market. It only has to
be vaugly self consistant and should involve a lot of
giving ;-)
Hope to hear from you soon (If one of us doesn't get
stuck down first ;-) )
Regards M.
(Who just happens to look like a cross between Gary
Oldman and Satan). Have I overplayed this whole
Religion thing????? ;-) Nah.
4
let's like, I don't know maybe meet each other t in a
public place, sit across from one another and without
letting anyone around us know, we look into each
others eyes and talk-- I mean-- hold on--here's the
crazy part-- we actually speak honestly from the heart
and actually show one another--and maybe any voyuers-
who we truely are--no fake fronts, bullshit games,
scamming angles-- just two people seeing if they can
simply connect--
too crazy??
5 (bizarro follow-up email to the one above)
This is my 2nd e-mail, no I'm not a pyscho stalker...
I first responded with the let’s do something crazy
and talk … but then I got to thinking, since you
divulged so much, you deserve to know more why I feel
we’d be good for one another.
You see, I get you; I am you. I’ve always been a
dreamer but then become a doer! After my brief pro
football career ended in being bedridden for 6 months
with temporary paralysis, I traveled Europe before
successfully owning and operating my own State Farm
Insurance agency. Needing a new challenge, I studied
acting at a top conservatory and began performing
plays locally in the Midwest. Wanting more, I then
began coaching basketball at a Division three college.
You see in high school I was a two-sport jock who
also excelled in basketball. Yes, I’m tall-6’5. And
I get how people rush to judgment. I was always seen
as the big dumb jock and was expected to act as
such--the big beer drinking, wild partying, womanizer
homophobic who gets in bar fights. When really, I’m a
sensitive brilliant almost gifted genius capable of
affectionate love and intimacy. Secretly writing
poetry, feeling like no one gets me and having to keep
moving to avoid falling into the growing void deep in
my soul.
I’ve always lived life outside the box, outside
society standards, and on my own terms. I graduated
college with Dean list honors but must confess I
cheated my way through. I began working at age 10 and
have financially supported myself ever since buying my
first car and driving illegally at age 15. I’ve loved
and lost. Or should I say I love and be burned.
Beginning with my first love getting pregnant behind
my back by a teammate, and last ending catching my
fiancé’ in bed with another man. She set it up.
Apparently she was sexually molested as a child and
couldn’t handle being loved- blah blah blah. I tried
getting her help, but people eventually have to help
themselves.
So I did, I sold my agency, pack up the truck and
headed to Beverly-that was a Beverly Hills
reference-hey you made a full house one! I moved to
Van Nuys, sight unseen and began my acting career- I
booked my first audition- a national commercial and
have worked steadily ever since.
Of course that’s wasn’t enough, so I began writing. I
wrote a script that people liked so I tried producing,
staring and directing. I shot a quarter of it on 35
mm with some pretty successful people but couldn’t
find distribution or raise the rest of the money
because I was a no name- so it’s now in the hands of
my agent trying to peddle it. So now I keep busy by
finishing my novel—about breaking false society and
parental conditionings in the search of unconditional
love and acceptance of self and others so we can find
intimacy. You see, I think we all just want to love
and be loved—but nobody knows how!
I no longer drink, do drugs or play games. I'm very
spiritual. I try to eat healthy, and workout
everyday. I enjoy feeling good. Being happy. No
chaos or drama. So if you want to connect with
someone-emotionally-someone who actually gets it- who
may understand you more than you understand
yourself-like how you just want to feel special and
important -- who may get how you just want to be held,
and wish at least one person will always have your
back and never let you down! --Someone who you can
trust to be honest and never play you. Who can accept
you and all your neurotic flaws--and not want to judge
or control or possess you but still treat you with
respect while still being able to have unbelievable
nasty sex and make love at times? Let me know.
6
Hello,
Sitting home on a quiet Saturday night with a glass of wine and a book and unable to focus, I found myself on Craigslist reading your post. Religiously themed adult enteraintment -- well, that definitely fills a much needed niche in American society and I'm impressed that you've been able to make a nice career by finding something unique to do.
I also feel it's important to keep work and fun separate and I enjoy leaving my work at the door. I also feel like I've accomplished alot in 25 years (a masters degree, a great career, incredible friends) and yes, I am real as per your post. Something witty to prove this? Well, I'm probably about the only person you know who went all the way to Pamplona, Spain for the Running of the Bullls...and got kicked out.
I don't want to drone on forever, but I hope you'd be interested in chatting a bit. If not, best of luck to you.
Take care,
B
7
Hello. I’m loads of fun. I have no reason to shave my palms, nor do I have any Elephant Man-like features. Oh, I also smell nice and know how to eat with utensils.
More about me:
Caucasian
6’0, 180 (I’m in excellent shape.)
Blue eyes, dark brown hair
Age: 34
Irish-Italian
High school English teacher
Two master’s degrees (journalism and education)
Interests: music, reading, writing, exercise, sports, and trying new things. (I know the last part sounds cliché, but it’s true.)
Originally from Chicago
I hope to hear from you soon. –D
8
You sound very interesting. A degree in Theology, I'm sure you could
teach me a few things. Mary Magdalene in a g-string? Wow, would like
to see that. Anyways, I'm 37, swm, very good shape and younger than I
seem. I'm in the TV/music biz and love what I do, but also need to
blow off steam. Also work on some radio on the side, to that we have
in common, oh yeah, I also dress up in G-strings on the weekends (just
kidding). Love to hear music of all kinds, especially jazz, blues &
Rock. I work in Van Nuys, so I'm probably right around the corner. In
fact I'm here right now, so hit me back! We'll go to some local dive
bar!
9
Hello. My name is T**** and I am ten years older than you. I'm also a half Black half Italian who grew up between Montreal and Brooklyn. I'm 6ft 190lbs and I don't care how you look unless you have an extra limb or something. That wouldn't rule you out but it might take me a while to get used to you. I am a former boxer who is now a writer. I write short scripts for money. It is my goal to write novels. I'm now in the process of forming a production co with a friend. I also work part time as a phone psychic. It helps me pay the bills. I don't smoke or drink. I also write and sometimes perform music and I sometimes do stand up comedy to work out dialogue for my scripts. I'm usually quiet but not the least bit shy. Have an interest in history, theology, music, science, and hopefully you. I'm looking for one person who is also looking for one person. And if I ever work for you I'd have to play Jebus...Jesus younger jealous brother. If you'd like to talk mail me your number or call me. 8** *** **** Bye for now.
10
OK, I must say you at least sound very intriguing to me to say the least. I am a 31 SWM that has been in the SFV for a couple of months. I finished my Masters in Computer Science and moved here for a job..
What would we do on a "first date". Well, I honestly am sure we could fill several hours talking so I think some place where we could do that comfortably would be ideal. I think walking around an amusement park would fulfill that need. The thrill of maybe plunging to our deaths if a rollercoaster falls off its track while discussing the finer points of life.
Anyways your sense of humor has to be killer.....
Good luck!
W
11
Wow, what a posting. You I want to meet. I am a doctor here in LA. I am afraid we would not go anywhere distracting on the first date because I want to talk to you. Jesus in a G-string? Jesus. I got a poem I wrote aabout televangelists. Here you go:
To err is human, to forgive devine
speaks the one with flowing robes
and as you kneel and pray he steals you blind
in the name of the holy ghost
he'll deliver you all from the gates of hell
each one of you young and old
and as he smiles in his benevolence
the light glints off the gold
when evil dons the guise of faith
and love is used for gain
then satan need choose his hottest place
for one so calloused to feel the pain
12
hello, yes I have jokes - I also dont care what you have or dont do ...
Im VGL euro-cuban mix, tall, tan, and well good-looking ... bored I just
broke up with two girls their jealousness drove me insane!!!
I live in Brentwood would love to meet and get to know ya.
K
13
Hi there, I think you should get dressed casual and get in your car and come over to meet a stranger who will be a gentleman and treat you very nice, just like an old friend. You will sit and talk and eat something we order to be delivered. Have a drink or beer or toke and relax and talk about where we would both like a first date. You have to meet someone before you go out. I'm in Van Nuys and a little older than you but loved your post and wanted to say hello. If you would like I will send photo. Have fun!!! B.
14
I have to write you first of all because "Jesus in a G String" is
awesome...wow what a concept.
If we were to have a "date" ...
Perhaps some piano playing / lesson fun
Tacos or Sushi
Some kind of Nature hike
Conversations of The Bliss of Now and the Potential of the Future
Hope you find a cool hang
Peace Love and Harmony
A.
And those are the responses. I hope you are ready for...
The Steak Recipe
As promised, here's how you make a killer steak. Go buy yourself a cast iron pan (cheap--about $7 at Walmart). Heat that bastard up on your stove at the highest heat your range can manage. Crank your oven up to 550 degrees and wait a few minutes. Salt and pepper each side of your steak. NOW, take some sesame oil and put it in the pan. Chuck your steak in. Wait 30 seconds. FLIP. Wait another 30 seconds. FLIP. Throw the pan in the oven for 2 minutes. FLIP. Wait two minutes. Pull the steak out and let the juices drain off the meat. Serve. There you go: a perfect steak in less than 10 minutes. You can thank me later.
Again, these are only the responses worth reading...
And by the way, why is everyone a goddamn screenwriter?!
1
Devout Aheist 2. First Date We will make Porno Movie featuring Teenage Cub-scout's in Staring Role. I would make you Come with my Right Hand, You would be Squealing in Ecstasy. You get out Your Paddle and Whip that Cub-scout into Submission. As He Beg's for Mercy, you Slide in you're Black 8" Strap on. He is Face down in Blue Cub-scout Cap as You Fuck him Hard for the Camera
2
Devout Atheist in Van Nuy's. You're Biz Crack's me up!!!! Happily Divorced Music Pirate with 4'000 song's
3
Boy I bet Your inbox has just exploded!!!!!
So I am sure you don't need to read an essay here.
Tell You what, If you don't throw up, when you open
the attached picture (No don't worry it's clean) then
drop me a quick mail back and I will tell you about
the unspeakable thing I did in the Vatican!!! ;-)
Oh and BTW I have a doctorate in theology
(Seriously!!!)
Oh and BTBTW One has just to love the idea of the
dancing Mary Magdalene act :-)
Oh and BTBTBTW First Date...... Hmmm we could write
a new religion for the American market. It only has to
be vaugly self consistant and should involve a lot of
giving ;-)
Hope to hear from you soon (If one of us doesn't get
stuck down first ;-) )
Regards M.
(Who just happens to look like a cross between Gary
Oldman and Satan). Have I overplayed this whole
Religion thing????? ;-) Nah.
4
let's like, I don't know maybe meet each other t in a
public place, sit across from one another and without
letting anyone around us know, we look into each
others eyes and talk-- I mean-- hold on--here's the
crazy part-- we actually speak honestly from the heart
and actually show one another--and maybe any voyuers-
who we truely are--no fake fronts, bullshit games,
scamming angles-- just two people seeing if they can
simply connect--
too crazy??
5 (bizarro follow-up email to the one above)
This is my 2nd e-mail, no I'm not a pyscho stalker...
I first responded with the let’s do something crazy
and talk … but then I got to thinking, since you
divulged so much, you deserve to know more why I feel
we’d be good for one another.
You see, I get you; I am you. I’ve always been a
dreamer but then become a doer! After my brief pro
football career ended in being bedridden for 6 months
with temporary paralysis, I traveled Europe before
successfully owning and operating my own State Farm
Insurance agency. Needing a new challenge, I studied
acting at a top conservatory and began performing
plays locally in the Midwest. Wanting more, I then
began coaching basketball at a Division three college.
You see in high school I was a two-sport jock who
also excelled in basketball. Yes, I’m tall-6’5. And
I get how people rush to judgment. I was always seen
as the big dumb jock and was expected to act as
such--the big beer drinking, wild partying, womanizer
homophobic who gets in bar fights. When really, I’m a
sensitive brilliant almost gifted genius capable of
affectionate love and intimacy. Secretly writing
poetry, feeling like no one gets me and having to keep
moving to avoid falling into the growing void deep in
my soul.
I’ve always lived life outside the box, outside
society standards, and on my own terms. I graduated
college with Dean list honors but must confess I
cheated my way through. I began working at age 10 and
have financially supported myself ever since buying my
first car and driving illegally at age 15. I’ve loved
and lost. Or should I say I love and be burned.
Beginning with my first love getting pregnant behind
my back by a teammate, and last ending catching my
fiancé’ in bed with another man. She set it up.
Apparently she was sexually molested as a child and
couldn’t handle being loved- blah blah blah. I tried
getting her help, but people eventually have to help
themselves.
So I did, I sold my agency, pack up the truck and
headed to Beverly-that was a Beverly Hills
reference-hey you made a full house one! I moved to
Van Nuys, sight unseen and began my acting career- I
booked my first audition- a national commercial and
have worked steadily ever since.
Of course that’s wasn’t enough, so I began writing. I
wrote a script that people liked so I tried producing,
staring and directing. I shot a quarter of it on 35
mm with some pretty successful people but couldn’t
find distribution or raise the rest of the money
because I was a no name- so it’s now in the hands of
my agent trying to peddle it. So now I keep busy by
finishing my novel—about breaking false society and
parental conditionings in the search of unconditional
love and acceptance of self and others so we can find
intimacy. You see, I think we all just want to love
and be loved—but nobody knows how!
I no longer drink, do drugs or play games. I'm very
spiritual. I try to eat healthy, and workout
everyday. I enjoy feeling good. Being happy. No
chaos or drama. So if you want to connect with
someone-emotionally-someone who actually gets it- who
may understand you more than you understand
yourself-like how you just want to feel special and
important -- who may get how you just want to be held,
and wish at least one person will always have your
back and never let you down! --Someone who you can
trust to be honest and never play you. Who can accept
you and all your neurotic flaws--and not want to judge
or control or possess you but still treat you with
respect while still being able to have unbelievable
nasty sex and make love at times? Let me know.
6
Hello,
Sitting home on a quiet Saturday night with a glass of wine and a book and unable to focus, I found myself on Craigslist reading your post. Religiously themed adult enteraintment -- well, that definitely fills a much needed niche in American society and I'm impressed that you've been able to make a nice career by finding something unique to do.
I also feel it's important to keep work and fun separate and I enjoy leaving my work at the door. I also feel like I've accomplished alot in 25 years (a masters degree, a great career, incredible friends) and yes, I am real as per your post. Something witty to prove this? Well, I'm probably about the only person you know who went all the way to Pamplona, Spain for the Running of the Bullls...and got kicked out.
I don't want to drone on forever, but I hope you'd be interested in chatting a bit. If not, best of luck to you.
Take care,
B
7
Hello. I’m loads of fun. I have no reason to shave my palms, nor do I have any Elephant Man-like features. Oh, I also smell nice and know how to eat with utensils.
More about me:
Caucasian
6’0, 180 (I’m in excellent shape.)
Blue eyes, dark brown hair
Age: 34
Irish-Italian
High school English teacher
Two master’s degrees (journalism and education)
Interests: music, reading, writing, exercise, sports, and trying new things. (I know the last part sounds cliché, but it’s true.)
Originally from Chicago
I hope to hear from you soon. –D
8
You sound very interesting. A degree in Theology, I'm sure you could
teach me a few things. Mary Magdalene in a g-string? Wow, would like
to see that. Anyways, I'm 37, swm, very good shape and younger than I
seem. I'm in the TV/music biz and love what I do, but also need to
blow off steam. Also work on some radio on the side, to that we have
in common, oh yeah, I also dress up in G-strings on the weekends (just
kidding). Love to hear music of all kinds, especially jazz, blues &
Rock. I work in Van Nuys, so I'm probably right around the corner. In
fact I'm here right now, so hit me back! We'll go to some local dive
bar!
9
Hello. My name is T**** and I am ten years older than you. I'm also a half Black half Italian who grew up between Montreal and Brooklyn. I'm 6ft 190lbs and I don't care how you look unless you have an extra limb or something. That wouldn't rule you out but it might take me a while to get used to you. I am a former boxer who is now a writer. I write short scripts for money. It is my goal to write novels. I'm now in the process of forming a production co with a friend. I also work part time as a phone psychic. It helps me pay the bills. I don't smoke or drink. I also write and sometimes perform music and I sometimes do stand up comedy to work out dialogue for my scripts. I'm usually quiet but not the least bit shy. Have an interest in history, theology, music, science, and hopefully you. I'm looking for one person who is also looking for one person. And if I ever work for you I'd have to play Jebus...Jesus younger jealous brother. If you'd like to talk mail me your number or call me. 8** *** **** Bye for now.
10
OK, I must say you at least sound very intriguing to me to say the least. I am a 31 SWM that has been in the SFV for a couple of months. I finished my Masters in Computer Science and moved here for a job..
What would we do on a "first date". Well, I honestly am sure we could fill several hours talking so I think some place where we could do that comfortably would be ideal. I think walking around an amusement park would fulfill that need. The thrill of maybe plunging to our deaths if a rollercoaster falls off its track while discussing the finer points of life.
Anyways your sense of humor has to be killer.....
Good luck!
W
11
Wow, what a posting. You I want to meet. I am a doctor here in LA. I am afraid we would not go anywhere distracting on the first date because I want to talk to you. Jesus in a G-string? Jesus. I got a poem I wrote aabout televangelists. Here you go:
To err is human, to forgive devine
speaks the one with flowing robes
and as you kneel and pray he steals you blind
in the name of the holy ghost
he'll deliver you all from the gates of hell
each one of you young and old
and as he smiles in his benevolence
the light glints off the gold
when evil dons the guise of faith
and love is used for gain
then satan need choose his hottest place
for one so calloused to feel the pain
12
hello, yes I have jokes - I also dont care what you have or dont do ...
Im VGL euro-cuban mix, tall, tan, and well good-looking ... bored I just
broke up with two girls their jealousness drove me insane!!!
I live in Brentwood would love to meet and get to know ya.
K
13
Hi there, I think you should get dressed casual and get in your car and come over to meet a stranger who will be a gentleman and treat you very nice, just like an old friend. You will sit and talk and eat something we order to be delivered. Have a drink or beer or toke and relax and talk about where we would both like a first date. You have to meet someone before you go out. I'm in Van Nuys and a little older than you but loved your post and wanted to say hello. If you would like I will send photo. Have fun!!! B.
14
I have to write you first of all because "Jesus in a G String" is
awesome...wow what a concept.
If we were to have a "date" ...
Perhaps some piano playing / lesson fun
Tacos or Sushi
Some kind of Nature hike
Conversations of The Bliss of Now and the Potential of the Future
Hope you find a cool hang
Peace Love and Harmony
A.
And those are the responses. I hope you are ready for...
The Steak Recipe
As promised, here's how you make a killer steak. Go buy yourself a cast iron pan (cheap--about $7 at Walmart). Heat that bastard up on your stove at the highest heat your range can manage. Crank your oven up to 550 degrees and wait a few minutes. Salt and pepper each side of your steak. NOW, take some sesame oil and put it in the pan. Chuck your steak in. Wait 30 seconds. FLIP. Wait another 30 seconds. FLIP. Throw the pan in the oven for 2 minutes. FLIP. Wait two minutes. Pull the steak out and let the juices drain off the meat. Serve. There you go: a perfect steak in less than 10 minutes. You can thank me later.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
CL Ad: Religiously-Themed Stripper Wants a Man
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/w4m/307936535.html
Big Heart and a Love For Life? - 28
I'm looking for a man who has a big heart and can see the true beauty inside a girl.
I'm a really busy woman. I own my own business and have done so for a couple of years. I'm constantly working and am proud of the business's groth. We supply religiously themed adult enteraintment to bachelor and bachelorette parties thoughout the Valley (Jesus Christ in a G-String is our best known service, but I have a wide range of performers and capabilities). Some guys are kind of creeped out when they learn I dress up like Mary Magdalene and dance, but I have to keep active in the business for it to thrive (and it's not that dirty, since I end each session with a sermon or quick psalm from the bible). I think a lot of guys are intimidated by successful women, so you must be accepting of what I do for a living.
I keep my personal life separate from my work, though, and I hope you do too. Though I'm busy, sometimes I just like to come home, flop down, and watch an old episode of Full House. The weekends are mine (except on Sunday mornings, I host a religiously themed call-in show on AM radio in Palm Springs (as I have a degree in theology)). I feel I've done a lot before even hitting 28, and expect the same drive and determination in the men in my life. If you just go to some job you hate every day and have no dreams or aspirations, maybe you can find a like-minded girl--but I'm not that girl.
I am not religious anymore (those days left me in college when I learned the real nuts and bolts of faith), but will respect your values and faith. The minute you try forcing them on me is the day you're on Craigslist looking for another girl to hang out with.
I don't care what you look like, but send me something witty and interesting to let me know you're real. Tell me why you think we should go out, and what you think a good first date would be. Anybody could walk on the beach or go to movie. What would WE do?
Big Heart and a Love For Life? - 28
I'm looking for a man who has a big heart and can see the true beauty inside a girl.
I'm a really busy woman. I own my own business and have done so for a couple of years. I'm constantly working and am proud of the business's groth. We supply religiously themed adult enteraintment to bachelor and bachelorette parties thoughout the Valley (Jesus Christ in a G-String is our best known service, but I have a wide range of performers and capabilities). Some guys are kind of creeped out when they learn I dress up like Mary Magdalene and dance, but I have to keep active in the business for it to thrive (and it's not that dirty, since I end each session with a sermon or quick psalm from the bible). I think a lot of guys are intimidated by successful women, so you must be accepting of what I do for a living.
I keep my personal life separate from my work, though, and I hope you do too. Though I'm busy, sometimes I just like to come home, flop down, and watch an old episode of Full House. The weekends are mine (except on Sunday mornings, I host a religiously themed call-in show on AM radio in Palm Springs (as I have a degree in theology)). I feel I've done a lot before even hitting 28, and expect the same drive and determination in the men in my life. If you just go to some job you hate every day and have no dreams or aspirations, maybe you can find a like-minded girl--but I'm not that girl.
I am not religious anymore (those days left me in college when I learned the real nuts and bolts of faith), but will respect your values and faith. The minute you try forcing them on me is the day you're on Craigslist looking for another girl to hang out with.
I don't care what you look like, but send me something witty and interesting to let me know you're real. Tell me why you think we should go out, and what you think a good first date would be. Anybody could walk on the beach or go to movie. What would WE do?
Responses: Some Fish For Your Chips
We had a few good responses on that one. In the interests of making this more readable (though my readership has dropped down to around 0 and 1 (including me)), I'll be posting only the few responses actually worth reading--rather than 30 or 40.
1
5'7''
asian
accountant
str8
"options should be amortized, not expensed you idiot!!!"
That's what I wanted to tell my boss when she told me the awesomeness and correctness of black scholes (a fleeting valuation model at best)
2
Hi :)
I liked the sincerity in your ad.
Things about me you'd like... I floss, I love
animals (especially dogs), I'm 32 and 5'11" tall.
Things about me that would make you think I'm
nuts... I'm a hot headed Italian, I hate slow drivers
who turn without signaling, I play bass guitar.
Things about me you'd report to the police... I ride
a sportbike with my dog (who's name is Tortellini by
the way). See attached photo.
If you're interested, hit me up. I'm wearing a
helmet and protective gear, so you can hit hard. lol.
just kidding.
-M
(Includes simultaneously funny and bizarro picture of man with his dog (a fruity poodle) strapped in one of those back-pack baby carriers. His arm is around a woman--a prostitute, perhaps?)
3
Chips,
I like it...
Im 36 korean, 5'10", fit, surf, bike, golf, ect....want kids soon as well...what would be there genetic make up if we did have kids? I could see what you mean about the bean counting (joke), there is a certain zen about the numbers....Im not an accountant, but did take a few classes in school that I enjoyed....
I thought T-accounts were fun....(you prob dont consider T-accts as accounting, hh)
S
4
well you sound like an amazing person and id be more than happy to help you out in the fatheringof your children but as far as being a father and raising the child/children im not sure im ready for that yet, id help financially if needed however and id be there for him part time just not as a husband or full time parent. about me my name i jason im a manager at a dennys, i live with a room mate in a nice place. i went through calculus ab in highschool yet failed 4 consecutive years of english and had to do summer school for all of them. i went to community college for 2 years slept all the way through and somehow graduated 9i think i tossed the degree because it was a wasted 2 years and pointless) i am 6'0 so i have no problem with larger women im muscular, jewish and extremley well endowed for a white male. i cant cook for the life of me but i have no problem doin the dishes, im a huge movie buff and love t.v. i also enjoy reading things like ludlow and clancy. ive enclosed an old pic of me frrom when i was 21 i look the same now just no facial hair. please send a pic of you back and any questions you may have.
5
Whats a liberal conservative??
6
I am 42, have a CPA license and am shorter than you (5' 9"). I was a bail bondsman for ten years, and have transferred my interest in crime to forensic accounting (I know nothing about SOX, never having done an audit in my life. You can lecture to me on that topic).
I surf, read, exercise, travel, and own two cats.
If interested correspond.
Andy
7
Hey there. I'm just curious, but why, at 27, are you so intent on having
children so soon. You're so young - only 27! So many things to do and
places to go before being tethered by the reality of children and
parenthood. Now, I understand that the meaning of life is the perpetuation
of one's species, but c'mon...what's in it for you if you don't delay that
just a bit...?
You probably won't dignify this with an answer, which is fine, but my
curiosity prompted me to write it anyway - obviously. :)
- J
8
Hey there! *winks*
Name's Travis. Don't know if you got my first message
(my computer messes up sometimes...*laughs*)
I checked you out (er, your posting...*grins*) on
craigslist. I see you are definitely a girl with a
love for life (and a sense of humor)...so figured I'd
shoot you a note and let's get to know each other...
Here's a fun question to get started:
which do you prefer?
fork? or spoon?
*sly grin*
Take care, talk with you soon.
-T
9
It sounds to me like your a complete nut and a looser. You should get a life.
10
Your comment on Sarbanes-Oxley caught my eye. I
really enjoy economics and more so am pretty addicted
to the stock market. I'm busy watching the subprime
market implode and waiting to see the Alt-A mortgage
market goes next with all the no document lones people
lied about. I actually made a decent amount of money
on shorting New Century before they filed bankruptcy
today. I've thought of going back to get a degree in
finance just because I'd like to be able to pull apart
the financials of companies better. Anyway I'm not
saying this to try and impress you. Honestly I don't
really think we'd be a match. Not because you don't
sound great but because I don't think I'm interested
in having kids right now or possibly at all. I would
be interested in talking shop as you put it.
Especially if ties to companies and the market. I
think our economy is going to get interesting pretty
soon with the slow down on the housing market. It's
possible we could both profit if we have some decent
ideas to bounce off of each other.
Take care,
T**
11
Hey super COOL gurl...or should i rather say Chippy :D. Thats cute! Anyways...im 32 young professional..architect. Just thought to say hi..you seem like a person worthy getting to know more :). Hope to hear from you soon.
xoxo
kevin
12
"I got a degree in engineering history" Well, i gots to say you are crazy. Why don't you go to a lab and make a child. You don't have any marketable securities to show anyone in the post i read.
I wish you the best of luck.
13
There's a difference between a criminal record and
warrants: having a record is not against the law. Go
back to being a lesbian, moron.
1
5'7''
asian
accountant
str8
"options should be amortized, not expensed you idiot!!!"
That's what I wanted to tell my boss when she told me the awesomeness and correctness of black scholes (a fleeting valuation model at best)
2
Hi :)
I liked the sincerity in your ad.
Things about me you'd like... I floss, I love
animals (especially dogs), I'm 32 and 5'11" tall.
Things about me that would make you think I'm
nuts... I'm a hot headed Italian, I hate slow drivers
who turn without signaling, I play bass guitar.
Things about me you'd report to the police... I ride
a sportbike with my dog (who's name is Tortellini by
the way). See attached photo.
If you're interested, hit me up. I'm wearing a
helmet and protective gear, so you can hit hard. lol.
just kidding.
-M
(Includes simultaneously funny and bizarro picture of man with his dog (a fruity poodle) strapped in one of those back-pack baby carriers. His arm is around a woman--a prostitute, perhaps?)
3
Chips,
I like it...
Im 36 korean, 5'10", fit, surf, bike, golf, ect....want kids soon as well...what would be there genetic make up if we did have kids? I could see what you mean about the bean counting (joke), there is a certain zen about the numbers....Im not an accountant, but did take a few classes in school that I enjoyed....
I thought T-accounts were fun....(you prob dont consider T-accts as accounting, hh)
S
4
well you sound like an amazing person and id be more than happy to help you out in the fatheringof your children but as far as being a father and raising the child/children im not sure im ready for that yet, id help financially if needed however and id be there for him part time just not as a husband or full time parent. about me my name i jason im a manager at a dennys, i live with a room mate in a nice place. i went through calculus ab in highschool yet failed 4 consecutive years of english and had to do summer school for all of them. i went to community college for 2 years slept all the way through and somehow graduated 9i think i tossed the degree because it was a wasted 2 years and pointless) i am 6'0 so i have no problem with larger women im muscular, jewish and extremley well endowed for a white male. i cant cook for the life of me but i have no problem doin the dishes, im a huge movie buff and love t.v. i also enjoy reading things like ludlow and clancy. ive enclosed an old pic of me frrom when i was 21 i look the same now just no facial hair. please send a pic of you back and any questions you may have.
5
Whats a liberal conservative??
6
I am 42, have a CPA license and am shorter than you (5' 9"). I was a bail bondsman for ten years, and have transferred my interest in crime to forensic accounting (I know nothing about SOX, never having done an audit in my life. You can lecture to me on that topic).
I surf, read, exercise, travel, and own two cats.
If interested correspond.
Andy
7
Hey there. I'm just curious, but why, at 27, are you so intent on having
children so soon. You're so young - only 27! So many things to do and
places to go before being tethered by the reality of children and
parenthood. Now, I understand that the meaning of life is the perpetuation
of one's species, but c'mon...what's in it for you if you don't delay that
just a bit...?
You probably won't dignify this with an answer, which is fine, but my
curiosity prompted me to write it anyway - obviously. :)
- J
8
Hey there! *winks*
Name's Travis. Don't know if you got my first message
(my computer messes up sometimes...*laughs*)
I checked you out (er, your posting...*grins*) on
craigslist. I see you are definitely a girl with a
love for life (and a sense of humor)...so figured I'd
shoot you a note and let's get to know each other...
Here's a fun question to get started:
which do you prefer?
fork? or spoon?
*sly grin*
Take care, talk with you soon.
-T
9
It sounds to me like your a complete nut and a looser. You should get a life.
10
Your comment on Sarbanes-Oxley caught my eye. I
really enjoy economics and more so am pretty addicted
to the stock market. I'm busy watching the subprime
market implode and waiting to see the Alt-A mortgage
market goes next with all the no document lones people
lied about. I actually made a decent amount of money
on shorting New Century before they filed bankruptcy
today. I've thought of going back to get a degree in
finance just because I'd like to be able to pull apart
the financials of companies better. Anyway I'm not
saying this to try and impress you. Honestly I don't
really think we'd be a match. Not because you don't
sound great but because I don't think I'm interested
in having kids right now or possibly at all. I would
be interested in talking shop as you put it.
Especially if ties to companies and the market. I
think our economy is going to get interesting pretty
soon with the slow down on the housing market. It's
possible we could both profit if we have some decent
ideas to bounce off of each other.
Take care,
T**
11
Hey super COOL gurl...or should i rather say Chippy :D. Thats cute! Anyways...im 32 young professional..architect. Just thought to say hi..you seem like a person worthy getting to know more :). Hope to hear from you soon.
xoxo
kevin
12
"I got a degree in engineering history" Well, i gots to say you are crazy. Why don't you go to a lab and make a child. You don't have any marketable securities to show anyone in the post i read.
I wish you the best of luck.
13
There's a difference between a criminal record and
warrants: having a record is not against the law. Go
back to being a lesbian, moron.
CL Ad: I'll cook for you and we'll have fun together!
A simple ad from just a generally strange woman.
My friends call me Chips because I love the show Chips and I love to eat chips. I know that sounds strange, but the nickname stuck.
I'm looking for a boyfriend. You must like big women (I'm 6'1", but not fat--just pretty tall for most men). I dated a guy who claimed he didn't have a criminal record but he did. You can't have a criminal record or I WILL turn you in (don't test me or you can ask my ex). You must like kids. I don't have any, but would really like to have some soon. Even if we don't work out, I'm thinking I'll probably still want kids (please be prepared to share results of any blood work you've have done recently just in case we do work out). College educated guys ONLY, please. Accountants preferred. I also will be more attracted to you if you have more dainty features than rugged looks (Leonardo Di Capro rather than Sean Connery).
Most of my friends think I'm pretty nice. I thought I was a lesbian up until about 4 years ago when I realized I wasn't (this happens to a lot of women believe it or not). I think it was because I knew a lot of cool lesbians and I thought I was one. Anyway, I don't define myself by my sexuality (though I probably was the more alpha role in my previous relationships with other women).
I like a lot of things, but especially cooking and baking (I make homemade apple turnovers a lot so be ready). I got a degree in engineering history at New Mexico Tech but have a day job as an accountant (went back and got another degree in accounting from CSU San Bernardino). If you like talking shop, I do too; I actually find accounting to be a passion of mine (don't get me started on Sarbanes-Oxley). I write a regular column in an accounting newsletter called Holding the Flag (mostly geared towards white and anti-immigration professionals, though I'm more of a liberal conservative and am open to dating all races (though I prefer you to be white or Asian)).
As a final note, please understand there is a bit of a time constraint. If we don't work out within three weeks, I'm going to have to move on to another guy until I can find a father for my children. Please don't take this lightly, as children are not something to joke about.
My friends call me Chips because I love the show Chips and I love to eat chips. I know that sounds strange, but the nickname stuck.
I'm looking for a boyfriend. You must like big women (I'm 6'1", but not fat--just pretty tall for most men). I dated a guy who claimed he didn't have a criminal record but he did. You can't have a criminal record or I WILL turn you in (don't test me or you can ask my ex). You must like kids. I don't have any, but would really like to have some soon. Even if we don't work out, I'm thinking I'll probably still want kids (please be prepared to share results of any blood work you've have done recently just in case we do work out). College educated guys ONLY, please. Accountants preferred. I also will be more attracted to you if you have more dainty features than rugged looks (Leonardo Di Capro rather than Sean Connery).
Most of my friends think I'm pretty nice. I thought I was a lesbian up until about 4 years ago when I realized I wasn't (this happens to a lot of women believe it or not). I think it was because I knew a lot of cool lesbians and I thought I was one. Anyway, I don't define myself by my sexuality (though I probably was the more alpha role in my previous relationships with other women).
I like a lot of things, but especially cooking and baking (I make homemade apple turnovers a lot so be ready). I got a degree in engineering history at New Mexico Tech but have a day job as an accountant (went back and got another degree in accounting from CSU San Bernardino). If you like talking shop, I do too; I actually find accounting to be a passion of mine (don't get me started on Sarbanes-Oxley). I write a regular column in an accounting newsletter called Holding the Flag (mostly geared towards white and anti-immigration professionals, though I'm more of a liberal conservative and am open to dating all races (though I prefer you to be white or Asian)).
As a final note, please understand there is a bit of a time constraint. If we don't work out within three weeks, I'm going to have to move on to another guy until I can find a father for my children. Please don't take this lightly, as children are not something to joke about.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Responses: FEMALE Magician Seeking a Man (VOL 3)
15
I hope your reading closely. I'm not a magician. I'm an engineer. I'm
the guy you don't want in your audience because I've figured the
Illusion out before your done. It's almost a curse because I want to
believe. I'd love to see a real magician at work.
I'm tall 6'3, In great shape, brown hair blue eyes. I don't like white
russians and I'm obviously not a golfer, love Creedence, Hate the
fucking eagles, love the In & out burger on rampart and also a little
show called Branded.
(The key is that he'd "love to see a real magician at work.")
16
Hail and well met milady. I come to apply for service as your assistant, your confidant and your one woman man. I understand about the magic and would glad to help convince the audience. I am highly believable, especially with things that are real. Why am I unique? I believe you. I am not just humoring you. I have seen things in my life that have convinced me that there is more than most people understand. I am also not squeamish nor easily freaked out. I am exceptionally open minded. I am also a sword fighter as well as a fencing teacher. My day job is computer programming however. I will also not treat you as a freak nor let any of the magic be something that gets between us. Why should I? Its an integral part of you. I am laid back. I am that rare elusive of breeds, the nice guy.
May we raise the curtain on this act milady?
17
So...what makes me unique? BESIDES my specific genetic makeup?
Well I suppose it’s the life I’ve lived.
I rode down a mountain in a car with no brakes.
I walked alone through a Pittsburgh ghetto that was actually on fire.
I wrote a piece that was published in the biggest paper in America.
I taught kindergarten in a foriegn land where I didn't speak the language.
I graduated college without graduating high school.
I fought three guys and a german shepard at the same time.
I won a political campaign in Chicago that I was supposed to lose.
I did something very bad once that still haunts me today.
I restored a 1970 Dodge with far too much money.
I wrote an award winning screenplay on my first try.
I scalped SNL tickets every weekend when I was 15.
I was a NY Times copyboy at the age of 16
I was on my own from the age of 14
I ruined a man's 5 million dollar business for saying something racist.
I invented several names for nail polish at Maybelline.
I helped create the worst reality show ever...and it will never be seen.
I was a top morning show DJ on a country radio station in Vermont.
I took paxil as part of a paid 30 day drug research study even though I wasn't suffering from depression (and resultingly, giggled for 1 month straight)
And I love my life.
I’ve got great friends. A nice apartment and I love what I do for a living. I'm making TV.
Really.
Not in that "I've got a really good shot at it and I'm trying to live my dream" way. Or in that "I'm a waiter who's REALLY a producer" way. I work for a giant production company. I get a good salary. And I make TV everyday. Some of it's good. Some is really bad. But everyday I get to come up with ideas and everyday some of them get used. It's not what I wanted to do when I was a kid. But it's pretty damn close.
And if none of that’s done the trick, let me add that, with the aide of only a book I got from the library, I hypnotized my ex-girlfriend to give up smoking. But before she came out of it I gave her a suggestion that made her get more turned on than she's ever been by going down on me. I didn't think it would work. It did. A lot.
R**** R**
PS – I’m also, as a resident of Culver City, geographically desirable. I looked it up on mapquest.
(He's also, as a shithead of anywhere, retardastically a fuckhead. What a prick. He sounds like one of those guys who I want to bitch slap after only seconds of hearing them talk.)
18
How could anyone send you the same response they send everyone else?
I mean, with a posting like yours they'd have to be insane.
That was one of the most original and amusing ads I've read. You
should be applauded as much for that as for your ability to raise the
temperature of small bodies of water. I was thoroughly impressed. Hope
you find the magic man.
19
Hi,
I read your post, and things became more intriging each passing word. I thought this sounds like alot of fun.
Reese witherspoon and Helen hunt is not a bad combo. Russian girls are cute. And, I'm not an idiot for really wanting to be apart
of a magic trick. You come off as mildly egocentric as I am, strong headed, good willed, attractive, sensibile, and if this atleast sounds like you a bit
just maybe we could hit it off... I'm not generally a coffee date person, but I don't mind a good tea, a good honey, or even a good coffee for that matter.
What ever works, shoot... tell me somthing though, ...is your magic... REal!? Magic?.) Can you cast spell's? I'm sorry for being so excited but I've never been so close
to magic. Do you have a crystal ball? If you don't maybe we can go find one... And, oh, yes... Do you see your mind's eye? Cause that is so cool...
I wonder...
20
I think I like what you say, because I believe in it.
H****
(Yes, he bolded 'believe in it.')
21
wow.........
what a chicken shit pic.........
And of course...
22
Your posting has been flagged down by craigslist users.
Approximately 98% of postings removed by flagging are in violation of craigslist posting guidelines.
Please make sure you are abiding by all posted site rules, including our terms of use:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/terms.of.use.html
If you need help figuring out why your posting was flagged, try asking other craigslist users in our flag help forum: http://forums.craigslist.org/?forumID=3. Include posting title, body, category, city, how often posted, any images, HTML markup, etc.
If your posting was wrongly flagged down (2% of flagged ads are) please accept our apologies and feel free to repost.
Sorry for the hassle, and thanks for your understanding.
I hope your reading closely. I'm not a magician. I'm an engineer. I'm
the guy you don't want in your audience because I've figured the
Illusion out before your done. It's almost a curse because I want to
believe. I'd love to see a real magician at work.
I'm tall 6'3, In great shape, brown hair blue eyes. I don't like white
russians and I'm obviously not a golfer, love Creedence, Hate the
fucking eagles, love the In & out burger on rampart and also a little
show called Branded.
(The key is that he'd "love to see a real magician at work.")
16
Hail and well met milady. I come to apply for service as your assistant, your confidant and your one woman man. I understand about the magic and would glad to help convince the audience. I am highly believable, especially with things that are real. Why am I unique? I believe you. I am not just humoring you. I have seen things in my life that have convinced me that there is more than most people understand. I am also not squeamish nor easily freaked out. I am exceptionally open minded. I am also a sword fighter as well as a fencing teacher. My day job is computer programming however. I will also not treat you as a freak nor let any of the magic be something that gets between us. Why should I? Its an integral part of you. I am laid back. I am that rare elusive of breeds, the nice guy.
May we raise the curtain on this act milady?
17
So...what makes me unique? BESIDES my specific genetic makeup?
Well I suppose it’s the life I’ve lived.
I rode down a mountain in a car with no brakes.
I walked alone through a Pittsburgh ghetto that was actually on fire.
I wrote a piece that was published in the biggest paper in America.
I taught kindergarten in a foriegn land where I didn't speak the language.
I graduated college without graduating high school.
I fought three guys and a german shepard at the same time.
I won a political campaign in Chicago that I was supposed to lose.
I did something very bad once that still haunts me today.
I restored a 1970 Dodge with far too much money.
I wrote an award winning screenplay on my first try.
I scalped SNL tickets every weekend when I was 15.
I was a NY Times copyboy at the age of 16
I was on my own from the age of 14
I ruined a man's 5 million dollar business for saying something racist.
I invented several names for nail polish at Maybelline.
I helped create the worst reality show ever...and it will never be seen.
I was a top morning show DJ on a country radio station in Vermont.
I took paxil as part of a paid 30 day drug research study even though I wasn't suffering from depression (and resultingly, giggled for 1 month straight)
And I love my life.
I’ve got great friends. A nice apartment and I love what I do for a living. I'm making TV.
Really.
Not in that "I've got a really good shot at it and I'm trying to live my dream" way. Or in that "I'm a waiter who's REALLY a producer" way. I work for a giant production company. I get a good salary. And I make TV everyday. Some of it's good. Some is really bad. But everyday I get to come up with ideas and everyday some of them get used. It's not what I wanted to do when I was a kid. But it's pretty damn close.
And if none of that’s done the trick, let me add that, with the aide of only a book I got from the library, I hypnotized my ex-girlfriend to give up smoking. But before she came out of it I gave her a suggestion that made her get more turned on than she's ever been by going down on me. I didn't think it would work. It did. A lot.
R**** R**
PS – I’m also, as a resident of Culver City, geographically desirable. I looked it up on mapquest.
(He's also, as a shithead of anywhere, retardastically a fuckhead. What a prick. He sounds like one of those guys who I want to bitch slap after only seconds of hearing them talk.)
18
How could anyone send you the same response they send everyone else?
I mean, with a posting like yours they'd have to be insane.
That was one of the most original and amusing ads I've read. You
should be applauded as much for that as for your ability to raise the
temperature of small bodies of water. I was thoroughly impressed. Hope
you find the magic man.
19
Hi,
I read your post, and things became more intriging each passing word. I thought this sounds like alot of fun.
Reese witherspoon and Helen hunt is not a bad combo. Russian girls are cute. And, I'm not an idiot for really wanting to be apart
of a magic trick. You come off as mildly egocentric as I am, strong headed, good willed, attractive, sensibile, and if this atleast sounds like you a bit
just maybe we could hit it off... I'm not generally a coffee date person, but I don't mind a good tea, a good honey, or even a good coffee for that matter.
What ever works, shoot... tell me somthing though, ...is your magic... REal!? Magic?.) Can you cast spell's? I'm sorry for being so excited but I've never been so close
to magic. Do you have a crystal ball? If you don't maybe we can go find one... And, oh, yes... Do you see your mind's eye? Cause that is so cool...
I wonder...
20
I think I like what you say, because I believe in it.
H****
(Yes, he bolded 'believe in it.')
21
wow.........
what a chicken shit pic.........
And of course...
22
Your posting has been flagged down by craigslist users.
Approximately 98% of postings removed by flagging are in violation of craigslist posting guidelines.
Please make sure you are abiding by all posted site rules, including our terms of use:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/terms.of.use.html
If you need help figuring out why your posting was flagged, try asking other craigslist users in our flag help forum: http://forums.craigslist.org/?forumID=3. Include posting title, body, category, city, how often posted, any images, HTML markup, etc.
If your posting was wrongly flagged down (2% of flagged ads are) please accept our apologies and feel free to repost.
Sorry for the hassle, and thanks for your understanding.
Responses: FEMALE Magician Seeking a Man (VOL 2)
Volume 2 is just one email. You can go to Volume 3 after you read it. I felt this one email was worth a volume all by itself.
14 Winner of the Longest Goddamn Email Award*
Good evening,
Your ad was by far the most interesting
ad that I've ever read in my life. No shit.
My first response after reading your words
was:
Huh. Me too!
Yes, I've been dead a couple of times.
Legally dead and brought back.
Weird stuff has been happening ever since.
Psychic events beyond explanation.
I lost my last girlfriend because
her co-workers were freaked out
that I was reading minds.
It's not like I did it without permission...
We were in Malibu at a bar
and I began asking people
to pick a number between 1 and 20.
Got one. 16
Got two. 5
Got three. 17,
Then I started asking them to pick a color
and an animal.
Got one. Blue Horse.
Got two. Green Elephant.
Then it started getting really out of control.
The entire bar seemed to gravitate towards me
people were getting the highest vibration
that they've ever felt.
I was guessing them left and right.
Getting responses like 'Holy shit!'
Some just screamed with overflowing joy and excitement.
It's like I'm tingling their mind.
I can feel it you know.
Some people were grinning from ear to ear like cartoons.
Some were slightly scared. I could here them mumbling things like:
'this guy is weird', or 'that guy is freaky'.
Some people, especially this one dude was acting all hostile
towards me...saying shit like: 'You ain't right man!'
He was mad and wanted to challenge me--- he said 'all right, all right I bet you will not get mine fucker, just try it!'
So I looked him dead in the eyes and he was throwing curves at me
changing the colors---so I calmly said, 'stop changing colors, and just pick one.'
This scared him a little. His face expression went from cocky-angry-dude, to worried-boy.
The two objects that popped into my head were quite impressive---
There were about 50 people, plus the bartenders(who was giving me free drinks for guessing random shit that he was thinking)
all gathered around--and the silence was scary.
The color and animal that this dude picked were extremely random.
I said, 'wow, those were pretty tough--- magenta-lemur??'
His mouth dropped open and closed and opened and closed---he looked like a fish out of water trying to breathe.
Then he started yelling that I was the devil, and that I was evil.
I'm like, dude chill out, you're trippin'.
He persuaded a couple of the people in the crowd
that people shouldn't be able to do that and that I was wicked.
They were looking at me like I was some animal in a cage.
My girlfriend said that she was catching a ride to her apartment
from her friend. I'm stunned.
'Why?' I asked her.
She responded with : 'Well, she's kind of freaked out by you...how did you do that? Why did you do that?'
Before I could answer---she left me in the middle of a human storm.
I looked at the bartender who raised his eyebrows and poured me a shot of Patron.
I drank my shot and walked to my car feeling like the lonliest man in the world.
I don't know who you are---but right now--as I'm typing this--I'm having the strangest
feeling of De-Ja-Vou.
Life is a fucking trip.
I'm not looking for a relationship, I already have one of those.
I'm not a cheater either.
So why am I reading the ads on craigslist?
Two reasons:
1. They are entertaining. Not the ones that are genuinely sweet and heart-felt.
I'm talking about the freaks.
2. So I decided to make a coffee table book of some of the best ones and I just need
to get my bud who is an artist to crank out some artwork to go along with the words.
I read everything on craigslist--its amazingly addictive.
I've furnished my apartment, sold a car, got therapeutic massages,
and I love reading the 'best-of for entertainment.
I hope you're life is great.
I'm learning to deal with what I have.
This thing comes and goes---I never know
when it's going to happen.
If I feel it coming--I avoid the public
at all costs.
I've learned to tune it out.
Talk to you soon,
J****
*And since there is no award, he's just a flaming fucking weirdo.
14 Winner of the Longest Goddamn Email Award*
Good evening,
Your ad was by far the most interesting
ad that I've ever read in my life. No shit.
My first response after reading your words
was:
Huh. Me too!
Yes, I've been dead a couple of times.
Legally dead and brought back.
Weird stuff has been happening ever since.
Psychic events beyond explanation.
I lost my last girlfriend because
her co-workers were freaked out
that I was reading minds.
It's not like I did it without permission...
We were in Malibu at a bar
and I began asking people
to pick a number between 1 and 20.
Got one. 16
Got two. 5
Got three. 17,
Then I started asking them to pick a color
and an animal.
Got one. Blue Horse.
Got two. Green Elephant.
Then it started getting really out of control.
The entire bar seemed to gravitate towards me
people were getting the highest vibration
that they've ever felt.
I was guessing them left and right.
Getting responses like 'Holy shit!'
Some just screamed with overflowing joy and excitement.
It's like I'm tingling their mind.
I can feel it you know.
Some people were grinning from ear to ear like cartoons.
Some were slightly scared. I could here them mumbling things like:
'this guy is weird', or 'that guy is freaky'.
Some people, especially this one dude was acting all hostile
towards me...saying shit like: 'You ain't right man!'
He was mad and wanted to challenge me--- he said 'all right, all right I bet you will not get mine fucker, just try it!'
So I looked him dead in the eyes and he was throwing curves at me
changing the colors---so I calmly said, 'stop changing colors, and just pick one.'
This scared him a little. His face expression went from cocky-angry-dude, to worried-boy.
The two objects that popped into my head were quite impressive---
There were about 50 people, plus the bartenders(who was giving me free drinks for guessing random shit that he was thinking)
all gathered around--and the silence was scary.
The color and animal that this dude picked were extremely random.
I said, 'wow, those were pretty tough--- magenta-lemur??'
His mouth dropped open and closed and opened and closed---he looked like a fish out of water trying to breathe.
Then he started yelling that I was the devil, and that I was evil.
I'm like, dude chill out, you're trippin'.
He persuaded a couple of the people in the crowd
that people shouldn't be able to do that and that I was wicked.
They were looking at me like I was some animal in a cage.
My girlfriend said that she was catching a ride to her apartment
from her friend. I'm stunned.
'Why?' I asked her.
She responded with : 'Well, she's kind of freaked out by you...how did you do that? Why did you do that?'
Before I could answer---she left me in the middle of a human storm.
I looked at the bartender who raised his eyebrows and poured me a shot of Patron.
I drank my shot and walked to my car feeling like the lonliest man in the world.
I don't know who you are---but right now--as I'm typing this--I'm having the strangest
feeling of De-Ja-Vou.
Life is a fucking trip.
I'm not looking for a relationship, I already have one of those.
I'm not a cheater either.
So why am I reading the ads on craigslist?
Two reasons:
1. They are entertaining. Not the ones that are genuinely sweet and heart-felt.
I'm talking about the freaks.
2. So I decided to make a coffee table book of some of the best ones and I just need
to get my bud who is an artist to crank out some artwork to go along with the words.
I read everything on craigslist--its amazingly addictive.
I've furnished my apartment, sold a car, got therapeutic massages,
and I love reading the 'best-of for entertainment.
I hope you're life is great.
I'm learning to deal with what I have.
This thing comes and goes---I never know
when it's going to happen.
If I feel it coming--I avoid the public
at all costs.
I've learned to tune it out.
Talk to you soon,
J****
*And since there is no award, he's just a flaming fucking weirdo.
Responses: FEMALE Magician Seeking a Man (VOL 1)
See? What did I tell you? I got 38 responses to this ad. I admit, it's different in tone than the M4W magician ad, but it's still a magician seeking someone. And since it's a SHE and not a HE who's seeking that special someone, there are many more responses. Check it out:
MALE MAGICIAN SEEKING WOMAN
0
FEMALE MAGICIAN SEEKING MAN
38
What the hell? We'll investigate this further later. For now, here are the responses. Overall, we've got a good lot of responses. There are some pretty fucked up people out there.
1
Tell me what the 6355 means and I will respond to you in length.
RL
(I have no idea. Do you?)
2
This intrigues me. If we were to couple, would you teach me the ways of magic? Can it be taught, or is it Universe-provided?
I do have a question, and please don't take this the wrong way: But if you can perform this amazing magic, why aren't you mega-famous already? Thanks
D****
3
I believe you. I wouldn't have last year but now I do. I was such a skeptical person and then I started to experience this transforation wherein sometimes I see and experience things shortly before they happen and can when I concentrate I can feel my third eye in my forehead. I think God has given us amazing gifts if we only focus and develop them. I definitely don't think we have this place figured out.
M*****
4
outstanding post!
u must be a great magician, because all the other women women out there that are this creative have disappeared (if they ever even existed)!!
u sound like your name should be chrisTINE angel!
anyway, not really sure how to interret your ad, but give me a nudge back and we'll figure it out
:)
(I have no idea what the fuck this guy means by the 'chrisTINE angel' thing.)
5
Hello,
How clearly do you recall the drowning event? I too drowned in my aunts pool
in Solvang, Ca when I was 4. No one knows how long I was on the bottom of the
pool, but my older brother (8/9 at the time) discovered me. I remember watching,
from where the diving board was located, While the local fire rescue crew was
working on something (me) I wasn't much interested in the goings on.
It might be interesting just to compare notes on this alone. I make my living as a
commercial artist (prototype toy sculpting) most the time. The drowning event
didn't have any interesting side effects in my case. But then again I've never
given much thought to developing any dormant tendancies I may have.
Cheers!
M*** *
(Weird, right? Included a picture of an old (50ish) horny guy.)
6
handle that .......im ur educated chiropractor and im also into the field of entertainment....looking for a woman who can capture my attention and build a great life with together....entertainment is a must,....thats one of the reasons you really caught my eye.....especially with the magic stuff.....and of course you must be fun.....since youve been doin this for s long time... a feeling of intrigue has set in and fascination for this one woman man and one man woman ....i like that factor...kinda dreamy of a situation and may slowly open t he doors to the heart especially when we can play together with a commn goal and cause or game if u will.....a connection of the heart is usually where that heads.... to me...thats a wonderfull direction.....heres a pic of me for now....my head is shaved for the summer but u get the idea.....im a frog..turn me into that prince....all u women look for...if im not allready ....lol
7
It seems a little arrogant and narcissistic to tell you why I'm so special. I feel better when other people tell me why I am so special ; )
I'd love to watch you perform your magic. The way you portray it I can't help but be in awe. No skepticism whatsoever because I have seen some weird shit before...I also have a lot of respect for the fact that you use a talent/skill acquired young to make your living and be your own boss because I do too. Generally we are happier people because we shape our own futures. I think strange, dark talents are very hot but then again some of my friends say I have some weird taste. I think I'm great if that helps you hahaha. Hope to be mystified by you sometime soon magic girl.
8
OK, first of all, I'm not squeamish! Second of all, I think it would be awesome to meet you, even if after meeting me it turned out you weren't interested in me (which of course I hope you would be). I'm extremely attracted to magic acts. Always have been since I was a kid. Been to the Magic Castle numerous times. Went to the magic place in Newport Beach a couple of times, but it wasn't as good. Guess that's why it didn't last.
Anyhow, 6'1". 195#, blond/blue. In Huntington Beach.
R*
9
remember marshall brodain
(A quick Google of this name finds that this arrogant, self-important dipshit misspelled the name of some old-timey magician...He's obviously forgotten (that he's a dumbfuck)).
10
Hello,
Well im not Harry Anderson.
Wow. Ok so you seem very cool and unique. I really think that rocks and I truly love magic. Ive always been fascinated by magic and Ive always enjoyed watching Jeff McBride, Penn and Teller, and many others over the years. Ive always wanted to go to the Magic Castle but I dont know anyone who has a pass to take me. I will admit I have some books and dvd's but alas I never practiced enough(even though ive been walking around with a quarter practicing my palms). Hehe.
Im a 30 year old latino that is an artist that does visual fx for film. So im all good with blood and guts. Even though ive mostly exploded things. I like going out drinking, dancing, have fun with my friends. Why am I unique? I doubt there is someout out there like me. If there was id be very afraid for the world and so would my friends. Haha! Im a good guy with a bit of a bad streak but there is a time and a place for everything. I know I probably should write more on why ya should choose me over everyone else. Its just like anything were going to have to chat and see.
Anyways I have to get ready to go out and get some drinks with my peeps. Have a good eve!
Laters!
J***
P.s. hit me back if ya want my photo.
(I don't want his photo; I want his reason for a 30 year old to use the word 'peeps'. Maybe his 'rents whose garage he lives in think its uberkool.)
11
Hello, saw your ad, and you sound very interesting. I am a Beginner/ just for fun magician myself. I am a member of the magic castle. Maybe we could hit it off. If interested, let me know, and we can talk some more.
12
so a magician.. hmmm.. i've seen them come and go.. is the power really real.. thats the question... because if it is then you are playing with energy... he he... cool stuff.. so how much do you really know about magic.... about your power... he he..dont worry, i work with white magic... i am 5'10 160# whiz kid type... cant help it.. older dont know if that is ok... studied at harvard, bored easily... brn/brn olive skin vry athletic.. send a pic if you are interested.... never floated upside down for an hour..
('studied at harvard, bored easily' roughly means, 'Went to community college, dropped out to smoke more weed.')
13
I can drive to the corner and turn into a grocery store!!
(Ha ha...ha?)
End of Volume One. Continue to Volume Two.
MALE MAGICIAN SEEKING WOMAN
0
FEMALE MAGICIAN SEEKING MAN
38
What the hell? We'll investigate this further later. For now, here are the responses. Overall, we've got a good lot of responses. There are some pretty fucked up people out there.
1
Tell me what the 6355 means and I will respond to you in length.
RL
(I have no idea. Do you?)
2
This intrigues me. If we were to couple, would you teach me the ways of magic? Can it be taught, or is it Universe-provided?
I do have a question, and please don't take this the wrong way: But if you can perform this amazing magic, why aren't you mega-famous already? Thanks
D****
3
I believe you. I wouldn't have last year but now I do. I was such a skeptical person and then I started to experience this transforation wherein sometimes I see and experience things shortly before they happen and can when I concentrate I can feel my third eye in my forehead. I think God has given us amazing gifts if we only focus and develop them. I definitely don't think we have this place figured out.
M*****
4
outstanding post!
u must be a great magician, because all the other women women out there that are this creative have disappeared (if they ever even existed)!!
u sound like your name should be chrisTINE angel!
anyway, not really sure how to interret your ad, but give me a nudge back and we'll figure it out
:)
(I have no idea what the fuck this guy means by the 'chrisTINE angel' thing.)
5
Hello,
How clearly do you recall the drowning event? I too drowned in my aunts pool
in Solvang, Ca when I was 4. No one knows how long I was on the bottom of the
pool, but my older brother (8/9 at the time) discovered me. I remember watching,
from where the diving board was located, While the local fire rescue crew was
working on something (me) I wasn't much interested in the goings on.
It might be interesting just to compare notes on this alone. I make my living as a
commercial artist (prototype toy sculpting) most the time. The drowning event
didn't have any interesting side effects in my case. But then again I've never
given much thought to developing any dormant tendancies I may have.
Cheers!
M*** *
(Weird, right? Included a picture of an old (50ish) horny guy.)
6
handle that .......im ur educated chiropractor and im also into the field of entertainment....looking for a woman who can capture my attention and build a great life with together....entertainment is a must,....thats one of the reasons you really caught my eye.....especially with the magic stuff.....and of course you must be fun.....since youve been doin this for s long time... a feeling of intrigue has set in and fascination for this one woman man and one man woman ....i like that factor...kinda dreamy of a situation and may slowly open t he doors to the heart especially when we can play together with a commn goal and cause or game if u will.....a connection of the heart is usually where that heads.... to me...thats a wonderfull direction.....heres a pic of me for now....my head is shaved for the summer but u get the idea.....im a frog..turn me into that prince....all u women look for...if im not allready ....lol
7
It seems a little arrogant and narcissistic to tell you why I'm so special. I feel better when other people tell me why I am so special ; )
I'd love to watch you perform your magic. The way you portray it I can't help but be in awe. No skepticism whatsoever because I have seen some weird shit before...I also have a lot of respect for the fact that you use a talent/skill acquired young to make your living and be your own boss because I do too. Generally we are happier people because we shape our own futures. I think strange, dark talents are very hot but then again some of my friends say I have some weird taste. I think I'm great if that helps you hahaha. Hope to be mystified by you sometime soon magic girl.
8
OK, first of all, I'm not squeamish! Second of all, I think it would be awesome to meet you, even if after meeting me it turned out you weren't interested in me (which of course I hope you would be). I'm extremely attracted to magic acts. Always have been since I was a kid. Been to the Magic Castle numerous times. Went to the magic place in Newport Beach a couple of times, but it wasn't as good. Guess that's why it didn't last.
Anyhow, 6'1". 195#, blond/blue. In Huntington Beach.
R*
9
remember marshall brodain
(A quick Google of this name finds that this arrogant, self-important dipshit misspelled the name of some old-timey magician...He's obviously forgotten (that he's a dumbfuck)).
10
Hello,
Well im not Harry Anderson.
Wow. Ok so you seem very cool and unique. I really think that rocks and I truly love magic. Ive always been fascinated by magic and Ive always enjoyed watching Jeff McBride, Penn and Teller, and many others over the years. Ive always wanted to go to the Magic Castle but I dont know anyone who has a pass to take me. I will admit I have some books and dvd's but alas I never practiced enough(even though ive been walking around with a quarter practicing my palms). Hehe.
Im a 30 year old latino that is an artist that does visual fx for film. So im all good with blood and guts. Even though ive mostly exploded things. I like going out drinking, dancing, have fun with my friends. Why am I unique? I doubt there is someout out there like me. If there was id be very afraid for the world and so would my friends. Haha! Im a good guy with a bit of a bad streak but there is a time and a place for everything. I know I probably should write more on why ya should choose me over everyone else. Its just like anything were going to have to chat and see.
Anyways I have to get ready to go out and get some drinks with my peeps. Have a good eve!
Laters!
J***
P.s. hit me back if ya want my photo.
(I don't want his photo; I want his reason for a 30 year old to use the word 'peeps'. Maybe his 'rents whose garage he lives in think its uberkool.)
11
Hello, saw your ad, and you sound very interesting. I am a Beginner/ just for fun magician myself. I am a member of the magic castle. Maybe we could hit it off. If interested, let me know, and we can talk some more.
12
so a magician.. hmmm.. i've seen them come and go.. is the power really real.. thats the question... because if it is then you are playing with energy... he he... cool stuff.. so how much do you really know about magic.... about your power... he he..dont worry, i work with white magic... i am 5'10 160# whiz kid type... cant help it.. older dont know if that is ok... studied at harvard, bored easily... brn/brn olive skin vry athletic.. send a pic if you are interested.... never floated upside down for an hour..
('studied at harvard, bored easily' roughly means, 'Went to community college, dropped out to smoke more weed.')
13
I can drive to the corner and turn into a grocery store!!
(Ha ha...ha?)
End of Volume One. Continue to Volume Two.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
CL Ad: FEMALE Magician Seeks a Man
I was disheartened that nobody responded to my M4W ad. I decided I had to do a W4M ad. Men in this city are desperate, because they typically will answer any ad. It could be an ad posted by a 450 pound crack addict fat chick with every STD in the book, and it'd get responses (maybe not many).
This isn't a 450 pound crack addict. Just a magician...
See it here while it's still up on Craigslist.
Or read it here:
You + Me = Magic
I am a professional magician and I'm looking for a man who likes to have a good time, knows how to drink, and is enthusiastic about taking an active role in my magic act.
UNDERSTAND: This magic is real. You have to help me convince the audience. Sometimes it's pretty dangerous, but always worth the effort. I don't do the stupid "tricks" you see on TV where somebody gets sawed in half and gets put back together, nor will I take somebody's watch and smash it just so it appears back on their wrist moments later. Using various instruments, I saw off parts of my body in front of the audience and reattach them. I do NOT do kids parties; kids cannot typically take blood and bits of bone.
I look like you're typical blonde--a bit like Reese Witherspoon crossed with Helen Hunt, but with a dark side. My magic started when I was 6 years old and drowned in my parents' hot tub. I floated face down for about an hour before they came home and found me. They called 911, but by the time help came I was up and around. Ever since then, I've had other-worldly skills. I can also raise the temperature of small bodies of water (anything under 50 gallons) by about ten degrees in a matter of seconds, but I don't incorporate this skill into performances (people are rarely impressed).
YOU: Can't be squeamish. Though my magic comes naturally to me, I practice every day for hours at a time. I sometimes leave parts of my body at opposite ends of my apartment (though I usually practice in a studio in Santa Monica) and leave them that way for several minutes. You must be willing to handle this. You should be educated, open-minded, clean, and stick to a one-woman-one-man policy. You love white Russians and even know why I'm saying this (and you thought I was making this up).
I look forward to hearing from YOU (and not the others). Tell me why you're unique compared with everyone else who sends me an email.
If you send me the same crap you copy and paste to every other ad on Craigslist, you'll regret it.
This isn't a 450 pound crack addict. Just a magician...
See it here while it's still up on Craigslist.
Or read it here:
You + Me = Magic
I am a professional magician and I'm looking for a man who likes to have a good time, knows how to drink, and is enthusiastic about taking an active role in my magic act.
UNDERSTAND: This magic is real. You have to help me convince the audience. Sometimes it's pretty dangerous, but always worth the effort. I don't do the stupid "tricks" you see on TV where somebody gets sawed in half and gets put back together, nor will I take somebody's watch and smash it just so it appears back on their wrist moments later. Using various instruments, I saw off parts of my body in front of the audience and reattach them. I do NOT do kids parties; kids cannot typically take blood and bits of bone.
I look like you're typical blonde--a bit like Reese Witherspoon crossed with Helen Hunt, but with a dark side. My magic started when I was 6 years old and drowned in my parents' hot tub. I floated face down for about an hour before they came home and found me. They called 911, but by the time help came I was up and around. Ever since then, I've had other-worldly skills. I can also raise the temperature of small bodies of water (anything under 50 gallons) by about ten degrees in a matter of seconds, but I don't incorporate this skill into performances (people are rarely impressed).
YOU: Can't be squeamish. Though my magic comes naturally to me, I practice every day for hours at a time. I sometimes leave parts of my body at opposite ends of my apartment (though I usually practice in a studio in Santa Monica) and leave them that way for several minutes. You must be willing to handle this. You should be educated, open-minded, clean, and stick to a one-woman-one-man policy. You love white Russians and even know why I'm saying this (and you thought I was making this up).
I look forward to hearing from YOU (and not the others). Tell me why you're unique compared with everyone else who sends me an email.
If you send me the same crap you copy and paste to every other ad on Craigslist, you'll regret it.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
CL Ad: Let's Make Magic...TOGETHER! - 27
A return to California. I decided to go back and post again on Los Angeles Craigslist. I missed LA. It's nice to be back...
Here's the ad on Craigslist.
And here it is...NOT on Craigslist.
Let's Make Magic...TOGETHER! - 27
I am a professional magician and I'm looking for a buxom (or not) young lady who knows how to shake her booty, drink, and looks forward to the occasional appearance in a professional magic act. You may be wondering, "CAN I REALLY DATE A MAGICIAN?" Yes, if you're not completely disgusting, you might get to go out with me.
My stage name is Dr. Amazing, and I really am (PhD in thermal transmission engineering from West Texas State (Go Buzzards!); and yes, I'm quite amazing). My big illusion is where I hang myself with a rope. I appear to die, and I usually have one or two people in the audience jump up and start screaming, "Is everyone just going to let him kill himself like that?!" This goes on for several minutes. Security ushers them out. My assistant then sets my lifeless body on fire, and then I walk out from the wing and put out the flames with a fire extinguisher. My "lifeless corpse" turns into a flock of doves (trained, obviously). It's the grand finale.
My girlfriend and I broke up because she replaced the rope I used with a real rope (like the kind you buy at Home Depot with the intention of killing someone). Well, the illusion was ruined. My body healed, but our relationship didn't (one could say our relationship was an illusion!). We had major trust issues after that (like the unplugged toaster I threw in the shower with her--but she freaked out and we had a big fight).
I love dating exotic woman. Are you exotic? That's up to you. Exotic has a million different meanings. People can be 'exotic' for so many reasons, so I leave this open (though my definition of exotic is tall, with bronze-tanned skin, shapely buttocks and breast area, blonde hair, olive eyes, no tattoos, between the ages of 21 and 25--let's stick to my guidelines).
PLEASE don't think I'm an arrogant jerk. I just know what I want. Once you meet me, you'll know that I'm really a wonderful, caring, Amazing man. You'll think I'm some sort of love doctor, though I'm really just...Dr. Amazing.
*(Includes pic of straightjacket.)
Here's the ad on Craigslist.
And here it is...NOT on Craigslist.
Let's Make Magic...TOGETHER! - 27
I am a professional magician and I'm looking for a buxom (or not) young lady who knows how to shake her booty, drink, and looks forward to the occasional appearance in a professional magic act. You may be wondering, "CAN I REALLY DATE A MAGICIAN?" Yes, if you're not completely disgusting, you might get to go out with me.
My stage name is Dr. Amazing, and I really am (PhD in thermal transmission engineering from West Texas State (Go Buzzards!); and yes, I'm quite amazing). My big illusion is where I hang myself with a rope. I appear to die, and I usually have one or two people in the audience jump up and start screaming, "Is everyone just going to let him kill himself like that?!" This goes on for several minutes. Security ushers them out. My assistant then sets my lifeless body on fire, and then I walk out from the wing and put out the flames with a fire extinguisher. My "lifeless corpse" turns into a flock of doves (trained, obviously). It's the grand finale.
My girlfriend and I broke up because she replaced the rope I used with a real rope (like the kind you buy at Home Depot with the intention of killing someone). Well, the illusion was ruined. My body healed, but our relationship didn't (one could say our relationship was an illusion!). We had major trust issues after that (like the unplugged toaster I threw in the shower with her--but she freaked out and we had a big fight).
I love dating exotic woman. Are you exotic? That's up to you. Exotic has a million different meanings. People can be 'exotic' for so many reasons, so I leave this open (though my definition of exotic is tall, with bronze-tanned skin, shapely buttocks and breast area, blonde hair, olive eyes, no tattoos, between the ages of 21 and 25--let's stick to my guidelines).
PLEASE don't think I'm an arrogant jerk. I just know what I want. Once you meet me, you'll know that I'm really a wonderful, caring, Amazing man. You'll think I'm some sort of love doctor, though I'm really just...Dr. Amazing.
*(Includes pic of straightjacket.)
Monday, March 26, 2007
Responses: Vegas Performer Seekin' Some Lovin' (VOL 3)
25
hello,my name is lyle send me a reply and I will send you a pix and
about myself.maybe send a pix of you from the front this time? I know a
few showgirls also.Talk to you soon.
26
Hey .... I am kinda like you... just looking to learn who you are first, and see if we actually like each other... I hate flings.. and this is las vegas so I am really believing that there is no one out there for me... So.... I'd just like to meet you ..... I LOVE POOL.... ! I am athletic, and like going out doing almost everything .... just last saturday, I spent all day at the palms in the movie theater all by myself.... but the movies were good...
i had not been in so long, i just movie hopped... lol... here's my pic... its the only one I have online...
i am a real nice guy.... just wanna a nice friend to keep me company, if we click... i don't know what will happen, but i 'll let you in on a secret, i am real sensitive when it comes to romance... i was hurt too.... so I promised myself that this I'd would rather just be alone... but honestly, i'd like a dinner partner... movie partner, pool partner, or jogging... whaterver.... "someone who can show me a great time where ever we are at."
i hope to hear from you....
27
Hello,
I'll keep this short as I'm guessing you'll be sorting through dozens of responses (though
you won't find another guy with as much on the ball as I)...so I guess I have to make a
good impression right out of the gate.
I'm an award winning filmmaker and internet entrepreneur, so we're in related fields. I'm
confident, ambitious, financially stable, educated AND intelligent, and have a great sense
of humor.
I've attached a picture. I'm 6' and about 170lbs.
If the first impression works for you, let me know and drop me a line back.
all the best,
Chris
28
hey sweety my name is m*** i am a 6"ft tall 28/m..... if you like my picture email me back and i could tell you alot more about myself
29
yeah... that's what i've been told, you can't trust short people of people who are cross-eyed. they're know to be wanderer, liars, etc... just be careful!
30
HI
I ENJOYED READING YOUR PROFILE..
i am new to the internet and is cuiorous about this site ...i am a real estate investor grew up in europe ,
..i am atletick...tennis golf all out dor activities..traveled the world likes to see it again in 4 eyes...LOVE TO GAMBLE.give a call i know we will conect 702 *******..p****
31
Meeting women online is not necessarily a forte of mine, however, would be interested in attending the show. Also, being an artist, I am currently writing a biblically based screenplay.
32
gut instincts are one thing..and height is another..but where the hell did
you get comparing height to someone having ulterior motives..?
i dunno where you came up with that...but everyone has a a motive..wether
good or bad..its just how the person is..now how tall he is..-.-.
instincts are the same way..people are able to second guess what that person
is going to do despite the options your weighing against/with them.
man....dating nowadays really has gone rock bottom...sorry if this seems
like badgering or something of the matter..it isnt though :).
33
Disclaimer next sentence is rude but must be said dont take it personal if u a real person and not a gay ass Auto response crap.:)
check this out IF YOU GOING TO SEND ME SOME BULL SHIT ABOUT SIGN UP AT SOME
FREE SITE SAVE IT.
musical taste i like all music
best make out spot in vegas my bad ass Home on my bad ass bed
favorite food Chinese food
my dream to be happy married with a family and live with my wife till day i
die.
goal skys the limt for me so im always making new business.
working on a few deals at the moment.
well im Italian and cuban with a wicked Tongue and the full
package 37yrs 190lbs will drop to 170 by next 3weeks is all i need, getting
ready for summer and Rehab at the hard rock.
divorced have 4 kids one which lives with me hes 14yrs and the greatest kid
in the world i bull shit u not.
I am a True Romantic At heart , cant help it :). i love that touchy feely stuff i love to sit next to my date and not across from her. im very affectionate and passionate.
But like anyone i have a crazy side to me if u just looking for hook up or just a good time i am a Man :) i can party my ass off and hang with the best of them i hit the gym 7days a week 2hours a day min. so cardio is good :P
im new to craigs list today is my first day lol but i have some pics of me
on www.myspace.com/*****
dont mind wife in pic she is now soon to be Xwife. hit me back if im what u looking for I'm sure i am :P
34
6'1" okay.... Noticed your profile, nice?.. I am a grade school
drop out, fresh out of prison, unemployed, live under the bridge and bit
paranoid schizoid. I am such a loser, I cant even find myself. Some people
are a bit scared by the six fingers and the third eye. Don?t let that
bother you because I know I could be your Mr Wright.
Isn?t it strange that Richard Ramirez (Night Stalker Serial Killer)
has dozens of woman who want to marry him, but a decent guy cannot find a
date for Saturday night.
Maybe we could do a little pan handling , collect a few cans and
bottle make enough money for smokes and beer. Then go out for a little fine
dining in the dumpsters. Vegas has great dumpster grub.
You will never know what you might find here if you do not take a
chance and message me. I am like a box of Cracker Jacks, you got to dig
deep to find the surprise.
Peace,
j*** g
**** at Yahoo.com
**** at Yahoo.com
**** at Yahoo.com
apply directly to that itch
my craigslist headline is fear and loathing in lost wages , I have pics
posted there..
send pics plz
35
after reading your profile...YOU ARE VERY IMMATURE...you need to grow up a little
36
Im a magician, musician, writer
37
I've always felt that shorter men (under 5' 10") have ulterior motives or whatever. I hope you like cats and are white, because these are pretty important
pretty ridiculous line of reasoning or feelings.
Easy to understand if you are physically attracted to tall men, but more trustworthy? Because they have longer genes? or ??? Like I said, pretty ridiculous, which reveals something about you that you probably would not like to hear, so I will skip it. . .Good luck by the way/SteveD.
hello,my name is lyle send me a reply and I will send you a pix and
about myself.maybe send a pix of you from the front this time? I know a
few showgirls also.Talk to you soon.
26
Hey .... I am kinda like you... just looking to learn who you are first, and see if we actually like each other... I hate flings.. and this is las vegas so I am really believing that there is no one out there for me... So.... I'd just like to meet you ..... I LOVE POOL.... ! I am athletic, and like going out doing almost everything .... just last saturday, I spent all day at the palms in the movie theater all by myself.... but the movies were good...
i had not been in so long, i just movie hopped... lol... here's my pic... its the only one I have online...
i am a real nice guy.... just wanna a nice friend to keep me company, if we click... i don't know what will happen, but i 'll let you in on a secret, i am real sensitive when it comes to romance... i was hurt too.... so I promised myself that this I'd would rather just be alone... but honestly, i'd like a dinner partner... movie partner, pool partner, or jogging... whaterver.... "someone who can show me a great time where ever we are at."
i hope to hear from you....
27
Hello,
I'll keep this short as I'm guessing you'll be sorting through dozens of responses (though
you won't find another guy with as much on the ball as I)...so I guess I have to make a
good impression right out of the gate.
I'm an award winning filmmaker and internet entrepreneur, so we're in related fields. I'm
confident, ambitious, financially stable, educated AND intelligent, and have a great sense
of humor.
I've attached a picture. I'm 6' and about 170lbs.
If the first impression works for you, let me know and drop me a line back.
all the best,
Chris
28
hey sweety my name is m*** i am a 6"ft tall 28/m..... if you like my picture email me back and i could tell you alot more about myself
29
yeah... that's what i've been told, you can't trust short people of people who are cross-eyed. they're know to be wanderer, liars, etc... just be careful!
30
HI
I ENJOYED READING YOUR PROFILE..
i am new to the internet and is cuiorous about this site ...i am a real estate investor grew up in europe ,
..i am atletick...tennis golf all out dor activities..traveled the world likes to see it again in 4 eyes...LOVE TO GAMBLE.give a call i know we will conect 702 *******..p****
31
Meeting women online is not necessarily a forte of mine, however, would be interested in attending the show. Also, being an artist, I am currently writing a biblically based screenplay.
32
gut instincts are one thing..and height is another..but where the hell did
you get comparing height to someone having ulterior motives..?
i dunno where you came up with that...but everyone has a a motive..wether
good or bad..its just how the person is..now how tall he is..-.-.
instincts are the same way..people are able to second guess what that person
is going to do despite the options your weighing against/with them.
man....dating nowadays really has gone rock bottom...sorry if this seems
like badgering or something of the matter..it isnt though :).
33
Disclaimer next sentence is rude but must be said dont take it personal if u a real person and not a gay ass Auto response crap.:)
check this out IF YOU GOING TO SEND ME SOME BULL SHIT ABOUT SIGN UP AT SOME
FREE SITE SAVE IT.
musical taste i like all music
best make out spot in vegas my bad ass Home on my bad ass bed
favorite food Chinese food
my dream to be happy married with a family and live with my wife till day i
die.
goal skys the limt for me so im always making new business.
working on a few deals at the moment.
well im Italian and cuban with a wicked Tongue and the full
package 37yrs 190lbs will drop to 170 by next 3weeks is all i need, getting
ready for summer and Rehab at the hard rock.
divorced have 4 kids one which lives with me hes 14yrs and the greatest kid
in the world i bull shit u not.
I am a True Romantic At heart , cant help it :). i love that touchy feely stuff i love to sit next to my date and not across from her. im very affectionate and passionate.
But like anyone i have a crazy side to me if u just looking for hook up or just a good time i am a Man :) i can party my ass off and hang with the best of them i hit the gym 7days a week 2hours a day min. so cardio is good :P
im new to craigs list today is my first day lol but i have some pics of me
on www.myspace.com/*****
dont mind wife in pic she is now soon to be Xwife. hit me back if im what u looking for I'm sure i am :P
34
6'1" okay.... Noticed your profile, nice?.. I am a grade school
drop out, fresh out of prison, unemployed, live under the bridge and bit
paranoid schizoid. I am such a loser, I cant even find myself. Some people
are a bit scared by the six fingers and the third eye. Don?t let that
bother you because I know I could be your Mr Wright.
Isn?t it strange that Richard Ramirez (Night Stalker Serial Killer)
has dozens of woman who want to marry him, but a decent guy cannot find a
date for Saturday night.
Maybe we could do a little pan handling , collect a few cans and
bottle make enough money for smokes and beer. Then go out for a little fine
dining in the dumpsters. Vegas has great dumpster grub.
You will never know what you might find here if you do not take a
chance and message me. I am like a box of Cracker Jacks, you got to dig
deep to find the surprise.
Peace,
j*** g
**** at Yahoo.com
**** at Yahoo.com
**** at Yahoo.com
apply directly to that itch
my craigslist headline is fear and loathing in lost wages , I have pics
posted there..
send pics plz
35
after reading your profile...YOU ARE VERY IMMATURE...you need to grow up a little
36
Im a magician, musician, writer
37
I've always felt that shorter men (under 5' 10") have ulterior motives or whatever. I hope you like cats and are white, because these are pretty important
pretty ridiculous line of reasoning or feelings.
Easy to understand if you are physically attracted to tall men, but more trustworthy? Because they have longer genes? or ??? Like I said, pretty ridiculous, which reveals something about you that you probably would not like to hear, so I will skip it. . .Good luck by the way/SteveD.
Responses: Vegas Performer Seekin' Some Lovin' (VOL 2)
12
d****, trumpet player from ny coming to town, i am 6'5" so no complex here..............educated well i have a law degree if you consder that educated. get back to me.
13
You went through the trouble of getting into Julliard, then LEFT? That's hot...
Tell me about your show.
14
Hi!! I'm new to Vegas, just graduated from law school in Utah and came out
here to start working for a firm in town. Anyway, I don't really know anyone
and thought I'd give this a shot. Maybe we could get together sometime?
15
I like your theory on height and trustworthiness and motive. You see I have
a theory of my own. You are crazy. Let me guess, you live alone with your
8 cats. Do they ever talk to you? Can you read their thoughts? When
talking to people about your cats do you ever refer to them as "babies"?
Your theory is crap and it is an insult to all men. What if I were to say
that any woman that is over 5'2" are only looking for money. Oh, wait, you
are over 5'2" and that is what you are looking for"love to gamble especially
when its somebody else's money", right? Wow I guess my theory must be
right.
You are a joke and this is the only type of response to your posting you
deserve.
16
Good looking professional man tall and athletic. I'm clean cut and educated . I love to ride my harley and you will find me very laidback yet open minded. If interested let me know?
-D
17
first - not interested in dating girls half my age - but would like to know more about the show - and what you studied at Julliard...
Yeah, edukated... no bout stuf....
And I would make a good friend but not a date... too shy to think about younger women... a
Enjoy, and if you would like a friend who can handle being a friend... I would really like to know more about the show.
J
18
wanna go to italy with me next week?my treat, i will spoil u silly,send me pic n number and we will discuss trip or other ways i can spoil u
19
Your post was great. I am new to craigslist and only recently learned of it after one of my employees suggested us running an employment post. I was surprised by the variety of offers on it.
Okay, this is the situation. I am a business owner who flys to Vegas 4-5 times a year for busines and pleasure. I enjoy fine dining, shows, and gambiling. I laughed how you indicated you like to gamble others money. That would be fine. The problem is that I get to Vegas and just don't want to go to bars and try to pick someone up. No time, not my style. So if you like a tallish-6'2", white, mid aged -41, descent build, funny, successful business owner then I would love to chat with you. It would be an amazing experience for me to see a show of yours then be able to wine and dine you. Do you like to shop?
Call me or email. 561-***-****.
P.S. Nice touch with the photo, hair up, back of the neck, no face. Hmmmmm.
20
I am a 36 year old swm 5-10 230lbs. Football player type. I have a
recording studio and work with the handicap. I'd love to know more
about you and maybe see a pic... here is one of me with longer hair
my hair is very short now.
B****- AKA Moose
21
hi
hi what your name?? i love to hang out with you,,,, i love movie,, i new in town from california,,,,,s** asian 5'10 tall 155 lbs,,, nice person smart,,, looking good,,,, please give me your e-mail i will send you my pretty picture,,,
22
Hi my name's Aaron and I'm 27 years old and almost
6'1"...I've been in Vegas for around 3 weeks now and
loving every minute of it. I love food so I think I've
found the right place...I also like typical guy
things, sports, working out, etc...it's cool that you
are in a performing show, you must be talented. I
don't know much about the the bible, so maybe I can
learn from your show. I'm into importing things from
China and work hard for my money, would rather invest
in the stock market than throw my money on the craps
table, so I'm no fun there...but quality entertainment
and dining is more my avenue...well, here are some pictures...
23
hi i'm james. i like the picture of your neck it looks sexy but classy. i like cats . i have an AS in biology .and i'm 6 foot 4. i think the idea of an nude bible story is unique , i dont think the people who like the bible are comfortable with nudity.but this is vegas and its hard to know what will work.
24
You sound really cool. I like your personality a lot. You have a pulse that beets hard, your drive for life is cool. I live in AZ but I’m at Hooter’s hotel tonight. Call me, OK. Let’s get to know each other, OK?
K** **** of *** Realty
"Top Producer 2006"
cell: (602)***-****
fax: (623)***-****
email: ******@cox.net
All right...There's more in Volume 3.
d****, trumpet player from ny coming to town, i am 6'5" so no complex here..............educated well i have a law degree if you consder that educated. get back to me.
13
You went through the trouble of getting into Julliard, then LEFT? That's hot...
Tell me about your show.
14
Hi!! I'm new to Vegas, just graduated from law school in Utah and came out
here to start working for a firm in town. Anyway, I don't really know anyone
and thought I'd give this a shot. Maybe we could get together sometime?
15
I like your theory on height and trustworthiness and motive. You see I have
a theory of my own. You are crazy. Let me guess, you live alone with your
8 cats. Do they ever talk to you? Can you read their thoughts? When
talking to people about your cats do you ever refer to them as "babies"?
Your theory is crap and it is an insult to all men. What if I were to say
that any woman that is over 5'2" are only looking for money. Oh, wait, you
are over 5'2" and that is what you are looking for"love to gamble especially
when its somebody else's money", right? Wow I guess my theory must be
right.
You are a joke and this is the only type of response to your posting you
deserve.
16
Good looking professional man tall and athletic. I'm clean cut and educated . I love to ride my harley and you will find me very laidback yet open minded. If interested let me know?
-D
17
first - not interested in dating girls half my age - but would like to know more about the show - and what you studied at Julliard...
Yeah, edukated... no bout stuf....
And I would make a good friend but not a date... too shy to think about younger women... a
Enjoy, and if you would like a friend who can handle being a friend... I would really like to know more about the show.
J
18
wanna go to italy with me next week?my treat, i will spoil u silly,send me pic n number and we will discuss trip or other ways i can spoil u
19
Your post was great. I am new to craigslist and only recently learned of it after one of my employees suggested us running an employment post. I was surprised by the variety of offers on it.
Okay, this is the situation. I am a business owner who flys to Vegas 4-5 times a year for busines and pleasure. I enjoy fine dining, shows, and gambiling. I laughed how you indicated you like to gamble others money. That would be fine. The problem is that I get to Vegas and just don't want to go to bars and try to pick someone up. No time, not my style. So if you like a tallish-6'2", white, mid aged -41, descent build, funny, successful business owner then I would love to chat with you. It would be an amazing experience for me to see a show of yours then be able to wine and dine you. Do you like to shop?
Call me or email. 561-***-****.
P.S. Nice touch with the photo, hair up, back of the neck, no face. Hmmmmm.
20
I am a 36 year old swm 5-10 230lbs. Football player type. I have a
recording studio and work with the handicap. I'd love to know more
about you and maybe see a pic... here is one of me with longer hair
my hair is very short now.
B****- AKA Moose
21
hi
hi what your name?? i love to hang out with you,,,, i love movie,, i new in town from california,,,,,s** asian 5'10 tall 155 lbs,,, nice person smart,,, looking good,,,, please give me your e-mail i will send you my pretty picture,,,
22
Hi my name's Aaron and I'm 27 years old and almost
6'1"...I've been in Vegas for around 3 weeks now and
loving every minute of it. I love food so I think I've
found the right place...I also like typical guy
things, sports, working out, etc...it's cool that you
are in a performing show, you must be talented. I
don't know much about the the bible, so maybe I can
learn from your show. I'm into importing things from
China and work hard for my money, would rather invest
in the stock market than throw my money on the craps
table, so I'm no fun there...but quality entertainment
and dining is more my avenue...well, here are some pictures...
23
hi i'm james. i like the picture of your neck it looks sexy but classy. i like cats . i have an AS in biology .and i'm 6 foot 4. i think the idea of an nude bible story is unique , i dont think the people who like the bible are comfortable with nudity.but this is vegas and its hard to know what will work.
24
You sound really cool. I like your personality a lot. You have a pulse that beets hard, your drive for life is cool. I live in AZ but I’m at Hooter’s hotel tonight. Call me, OK. Let’s get to know each other, OK?
K** **** of *** Realty
"Top Producer 2006"
cell: (602)***-****
fax: (623)***-****
email: ******@cox.net
All right...There's more in Volume 3.
Responses: Vegas Performer Seekin' Some Lovin' (VOL 1)
Over 100 responses, but not many are that good. I was surprised to see the responses out of Vegas to possess an overall lack of creativity. They were mostly short one-liners, like, "Sounds great. Hit me up. Let's go out." Whatev. Fuck that. I'll only post the ones worth reading.
1
hey, i just saw your add and i think the odds are stacked against me, but this is vegas and even the longshot wins every now and again. i just get right to my physical description i guess because that's what i think is gonna hinder my chances. i'm 5'9 and 150 pounds. i'm in shape and like to stay that way cause my dad is fat and i never want to live that way. my dad is black and my mom was white so i am a light skinned black man. i was raised in a small town in ohio. actually we were the first minorities in the town. that was an experiance let me tell ya. anyway, i'm back in school here at UNLV. majoring in tourism and convention management. i work as a nightclub promoter for the light group. i have always owned a dog and a cat but right now i just have a dog. he looks mean but he's a lover. can't judge a book by it's cover right? i pretty sure i'm a good lookn guy. i just don't want to sound cocky or anything. oh yeah i have been growing dreadlocks for the last nine years and they are clean. i wash my hair just as religiously as any woman.
alright i feel like i have been rambeling, so i'm sure if this interested you at all, you'll get back at me. take it easy...
2
Hello,
I was wondering if your show had any tickets available and the times at which it shows. i would love to come watch a satire on religion and laugh till no end. thank you for reading this.
3
Hello beautiful, I so want to play with you! Anything anytime, D** right here in Vegas, always ready to please and have fun!
D**
4
im 24 5'10 got brown eyes you you hit me back if you like what you see. im
a automotive tech im prety much down for anything as long as my exits stay a
exit lol other then that im down for what ever. holla back
5
read your profile on craiglist...very promising...im a young 31 year old
business owner...as well as work full time... my twin bro and hav a clothing
co and a communications...im from the bay are silicon valley...looking for
good people..real people...im 5 11 so hope that fits your criteria..maybe
we can have some corespondence... R***
6
too bad the gamble part, on the very end of ur profile, turned me off. U seen to be a sweetie, but...
7
I recently saw your posting on craigslist and thought I would e-mail you. Let me tell you a little bit about myself.
I do not live in Vegas at the moment although I am going to be going to either grad school or law school at UNLV soon. I visit Vegas frequently also.
I am 6'5''. fairly tall I know. I like to be active and I hate drama queens and you do not sound like one which is good. I am 21 years old and am also a triplet! Exciting huh? I am looking for someone that I can give some extra attention to. I haven't dated alot lately because I am busy with college and all.
I love to gamble even though I do not have a lot of extra money laying around since I am a college student. I always put the women in my life first.
If this intrigues you please reply and I could send you a picture or two if you wanted along with more about myself.
Thanks,
S****
8
I'm visiting Vegas in May and would love to fulfill a dream of mine.....to go on a date with a Vegas showgirl! Interested?
M***
SWM, 37, 5'9" 155
9
Hi there. I am M***, 28, somewhat new to vegas. classy, educated, sweet, romantic, fun, athletic, tall, dark, and handsome white guy. I am 6'3, 215 athletic body, jet black hair, dark brown eyes, olive skin. I am from Nj but moved from arizona recently. I am very easy to be around and to talk to, looking to try something new, meet some cool people and go from there, I am open minded.. be in touch
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/*****
thats all I have handy but trust me im not hiding anything. so what part of town do you live in?
thats awesome youre in a show. my mom was in the theatre way back
10
So, where's the show?
11
Hi,
I'm 5"10+ and 38 years old , so I may not be your Ideal.... but, I'm recently out of an 8 year relationship, no kids, never married and a regular family (extended) guy. I live off my investments , but I also own an imaging/photography company. I'm from the East coast but I travel all over the world and love to enjoy life.
I'm still looking for my soul mate and I'll be in Vegas Sat night for a couple days and would love to meet you.
No need to respond if your not interested, but I'd love to at least meet for a drink if your up for it. Any chance you have a pic to see if your front is as beautiful as your back ??
End of Volume One. Check out Volume Two.
1
hey, i just saw your add and i think the odds are stacked against me, but this is vegas and even the longshot wins every now and again. i just get right to my physical description i guess because that's what i think is gonna hinder my chances. i'm 5'9 and 150 pounds. i'm in shape and like to stay that way cause my dad is fat and i never want to live that way. my dad is black and my mom was white so i am a light skinned black man. i was raised in a small town in ohio. actually we were the first minorities in the town. that was an experiance let me tell ya. anyway, i'm back in school here at UNLV. majoring in tourism and convention management. i work as a nightclub promoter for the light group. i have always owned a dog and a cat but right now i just have a dog. he looks mean but he's a lover. can't judge a book by it's cover right? i pretty sure i'm a good lookn guy. i just don't want to sound cocky or anything. oh yeah i have been growing dreadlocks for the last nine years and they are clean. i wash my hair just as religiously as any woman.
alright i feel like i have been rambeling, so i'm sure if this interested you at all, you'll get back at me. take it easy...
2
Hello,
I was wondering if your show had any tickets available and the times at which it shows. i would love to come watch a satire on religion and laugh till no end. thank you for reading this.
3
Hello beautiful, I so want to play with you! Anything anytime, D** right here in Vegas, always ready to please and have fun!
D**
4
im 24 5'10 got brown eyes you you hit me back if you like what you see. im
a automotive tech im prety much down for anything as long as my exits stay a
exit lol other then that im down for what ever. holla back
5
read your profile on craiglist...very promising...im a young 31 year old
business owner...as well as work full time... my twin bro and hav a clothing
co and a communications...im from the bay are silicon valley...looking for
good people..real people...im 5 11 so hope that fits your criteria..maybe
we can have some corespondence... R***
6
too bad the gamble part, on the very end of ur profile, turned me off. U seen to be a sweetie, but...
7
I recently saw your posting on craigslist and thought I would e-mail you. Let me tell you a little bit about myself.
I do not live in Vegas at the moment although I am going to be going to either grad school or law school at UNLV soon. I visit Vegas frequently also.
I am 6'5''. fairly tall I know. I like to be active and I hate drama queens and you do not sound like one which is good. I am 21 years old and am also a triplet! Exciting huh? I am looking for someone that I can give some extra attention to. I haven't dated alot lately because I am busy with college and all.
I love to gamble even though I do not have a lot of extra money laying around since I am a college student. I always put the women in my life first.
If this intrigues you please reply and I could send you a picture or two if you wanted along with more about myself.
Thanks,
S****
8
I'm visiting Vegas in May and would love to fulfill a dream of mine.....to go on a date with a Vegas showgirl! Interested?
M***
SWM, 37, 5'9" 155
9
Hi there. I am M***, 28, somewhat new to vegas. classy, educated, sweet, romantic, fun, athletic, tall, dark, and handsome white guy. I am 6'3, 215 athletic body, jet black hair, dark brown eyes, olive skin. I am from Nj but moved from arizona recently. I am very easy to be around and to talk to, looking to try something new, meet some cool people and go from there, I am open minded.. be in touch
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/*****
thats all I have handy but trust me im not hiding anything. so what part of town do you live in?
thats awesome youre in a show. my mom was in the theatre way back
10
So, where's the show?
11
Hi,
I'm 5"10+ and 38 years old , so I may not be your Ideal.... but, I'm recently out of an 8 year relationship, no kids, never married and a regular family (extended) guy. I live off my investments , but I also own an imaging/photography company. I'm from the East coast but I travel all over the world and love to enjoy life.
I'm still looking for my soul mate and I'll be in Vegas Sat night for a couple days and would love to meet you.
No need to respond if your not interested, but I'd love to at least meet for a drink if your up for it. Any chance you have a pic to see if your front is as beautiful as your back ??
End of Volume One. Check out Volume Two.
CL Ad: Performer Needs Wonderful Man Without the Theatrics (Las Vegas)
I wrote this ad while in Las Vegas (it's already been posted and has run its course). I was inspired by the lights, sounds, and drunkedness of the Strip.
While there, I ate as much food in two days as I normally would in about a week (no exageration). All well. That's what binge eating is all about, I guess. Some people hate Vegas. I like the human drama you can see anywhere--people losing all of their money at the one-armed bandits, drinking past the point of it still being acceptable in public, and the employees.
The employees. I wondered, "Who are these people? What do they think of all these touristos? What did they all come from?"
So without further ado...
Performer Needs Wonderful Man Without the Theatrics
I am seeking someone new—someone who knows how to treat a woman. I've lived in Las Vegas only a couple of months, and a lot of the guys I've met have been total hicks.
The man I'd like to meet is really tall. I don't know what it is about tall men but I've always trusted them more than shorter men, and I try to stay with my gut instinct. I've always felt that shorter men (under 5' 10") have ulterior motives or whatever. I hope you like cats and are white, because these are pretty important (I have 8 white or cream colored cats and am white too!). You are educated at a college level and can talk about really smart things.
So you want to know about me. I'm 5' 6" and I think pretty good-looking. I do have one tattoo (its of my exboyfriend, but he had it put on while I was passed out so its not my fault lol!). Its small so so what, right? I went to school at Julliard for a couple months but left pretty fast because I felt they were holding me back from experiencing real art.
I work on the Strip in a show. Actually, we're off the strip right now but we're trying to sell our show to some of the hotels on the Strip because I think we've got the next Big Show (thats what its called). We reenact scenes out of the Bible, but change it up with some dance routines and a small bit of nudity to keep it interesting. We actually stay pretty true to the Bible stories.
So for our first date I hope you can come see one of my shows and then maybe some dinner and an evening on the Strip (I love to gamble especially when its somebody else's money lol!).
*(I included a picture with the ad of the back of a petite woman's neck.)
While there, I ate as much food in two days as I normally would in about a week (no exageration). All well. That's what binge eating is all about, I guess. Some people hate Vegas. I like the human drama you can see anywhere--people losing all of their money at the one-armed bandits, drinking past the point of it still being acceptable in public, and the employees.
The employees. I wondered, "Who are these people? What do they think of all these touristos? What did they all come from?"
So without further ado...
Performer Needs Wonderful Man Without the Theatrics
I am seeking someone new—someone who knows how to treat a woman. I've lived in Las Vegas only a couple of months, and a lot of the guys I've met have been total hicks.
The man I'd like to meet is really tall. I don't know what it is about tall men but I've always trusted them more than shorter men, and I try to stay with my gut instinct. I've always felt that shorter men (under 5' 10") have ulterior motives or whatever. I hope you like cats and are white, because these are pretty important (I have 8 white or cream colored cats and am white too!). You are educated at a college level and can talk about really smart things.
So you want to know about me. I'm 5' 6" and I think pretty good-looking. I do have one tattoo (its of my exboyfriend, but he had it put on while I was passed out so its not my fault lol!). Its small so so what, right? I went to school at Julliard for a couple months but left pretty fast because I felt they were holding me back from experiencing real art.
I work on the Strip in a show. Actually, we're off the strip right now but we're trying to sell our show to some of the hotels on the Strip because I think we've got the next Big Show (thats what its called). We reenact scenes out of the Bible, but change it up with some dance routines and a small bit of nudity to keep it interesting. We actually stay pretty true to the Bible stories.
So for our first date I hope you can come see one of my shows and then maybe some dinner and an evening on the Strip (I love to gamble especially when its somebody else's money lol!).
*(I included a picture with the ad of the back of a petite woman's neck.)
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Give me some love...
Hey, fools. There's been some delay with the blog. I feel your pain. After all, I write the ads, post the responses, and Bob's Your Uncle (you incestual bastard), this blog gets populated.
I need a couple of days. It's been really busy down at the factory.
Besides, this blog does not owe to great organization. I'm thinking of just dumping the blog and migrating everything to a somewhat organized web site.
I need a couple of days. It's been really busy down at the factory.
Besides, this blog does not owe to great organization. I'm thinking of just dumping the blog and migrating everything to a somewhat organized web site.
Monday, March 5, 2007
RESPONSES: Some Pick-up Lines From Phoenix (VOL 3)
22
Your story sounds like mine! Lets chat and compare notes!
T****
23 (BEST EMAIL)
OMG, you sound so perfect for me. I am a long distance therapy councilor and you need my help. Where to start, first stop telling people your a Cali girl. . Second, get "redneck" tattooed across your forehead, join the service and get shipped to Iraq. Please no matter what, leave the country or at least do not ever vote.
Yes, you are right in thinking that this reply is from Paul, incredibly every email reply you have received so far has been from me....I am sorry but can you send me more nude pics of your world class tits, ass and puss as the old ones of you have gotten worn out from letting my friends use for jerking off. I just use the panties I took from your dresser. Do you get a feeling through the COSMOS as I cream in the panties or when they spurt their cum loads onto your picture?
So you have something to remember me, I have attached a picture of my horsecock and balls.
24
Maybe our first date could start with a quick driveby of my
ex-girlfriends house ? Then we could egg Paul's car ?
My name is M***. I am a 28 year old registered Socialist (even
though that means they send me a Republican voter ID card). I am a
pretty laid back person, so laid back that I drive a VW Microbus. I
love to hike with my dog Rigby (Irish Wolfhound), travel around
(slowly because of the bus), visit museums, go out for drinks, and
pretty much anything else.
I really enjoy politics and history. I play the drums and I can cook.
I am a commercial electrician originally from the great blue state of
New York. I have been out here for 6 years. My family all lives in
North Carolina. I go and visit them once or twice a year.
I am just looking for someone to go on casual dates with for now. I
don't know how ready I am to jump back in the saddle of full time
commitment right now, but, I am ready to date for sure. I won't
pressure you into sex either, I probably won't pressure you into
kissing either. I guess I am shy about that kind of
stuff.................but once I feel comfortable, I can be alot more
assertive(not aggressive).
I have a myspace account if you want to read alittle more about
me,,,,,,,,,,there is a picture of my dog, none of me as of yet. I
will try and put one on though
the link is www.myspace.com/****
I hope that if I am not what you are looking for that you can find
someone to make you happy and get this whole mess behind you.
m***
25
you kidding me
26
Sorry I just wanted to be honest with you so that if we never meet at
least you can use this advice. I do think I could have fun with you
though. I like all food but my favorites are thai and greek. I do
not like to define my political status because believe that good
values and actions should stand above all else. I like art and am in
school right now for design. Blah, blah, blah, I could go on and on
but what is it that you want in a guy. I know a little attraction
would have to be there so I would like to see a picture of you and
i'll return the favor if interested. I think we have some common
interests so that's a good start. If you don't like this response
thats ok and I wish you well on your search.
27
Okay honey... just taking a stab that you might not be fully over this Paul thing..... and that's okay cuz its hard to get over someone right away...
But in my 41 years, i've had quite a journey....from the woods of Michigan to the deserts of Arizona. Had great women, have had lousy women, have had appreciative women, had ungrateful women.... but the one thing that remains...if I still love women.
So I just am cleaning up a LTR of my own... and since this isn't the first one.... for either of us I would assume... we both know how to make those feelings change... and that's by falling for someone new....
Now I can't promise you you'll fall in love with me, don't even want to venture that you'll want to see me after Saturday night.... but if we get to where you want a kiss....the kiss will be the first step of Paul being a memory.
So let's start your memory loss this weekend......
28
Trying to find a date for your Dog? You are one sick lady and need professional help!
29
I think someone still needs a little time to get over Paul!!!! You have way to much baggage lady!!
30
will you sack my sack in the sack ?
31
SUBJECT LINE: Hit it .... and quit it !!
Hows that for a pickup line ? Yip thats what I would say !! Are you serious .... botanical gardens and the outlet mall? Im a native Arizonan ... Too much outdoor adventure to explore and have fun .... hope you find Mr Paul #2 ... sounds like you miss him ALOT !! :)
32 (and last but not least...)
Your posting has been flagged down by craigslist users.
Approximately 98% of postings removed by flagging are in violation of craigslist posting guidelines.
Please make sure you are abiding by all posted site rules, including our terms of use:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/terms.of.use.html
If you need help figuring out why your posting was flagged, try asking other craigslist users in our flag help forum: http://forums.craigslist.org/?forumID=3. Include posting title, body, category, city, how often posted, any images, HTML markup, etc.
If your posting was wrongly flagged down (2% of flagged ads are) please accept our apologies and feel free to repost.
Sorry for the hassle, and thanks for your understanding.
Your story sounds like mine! Lets chat and compare notes!
T****
23 (BEST EMAIL)
OMG, you sound so perfect for me. I am a long distance therapy councilor and you need my help. Where to start, first stop telling people your a Cali girl. . Second, get "redneck" tattooed across your forehead, join the service and get shipped to Iraq. Please no matter what, leave the country or at least do not ever vote.
Yes, you are right in thinking that this reply is from Paul, incredibly every email reply you have received so far has been from me....I am sorry but can you send me more nude pics of your world class tits, ass and puss as the old ones of you have gotten worn out from letting my friends use for jerking off. I just use the panties I took from your dresser. Do you get a feeling through the COSMOS as I cream in the panties or when they spurt their cum loads onto your picture?
So you have something to remember me, I have attached a picture of my horsecock and balls.
24
Maybe our first date could start with a quick driveby of my
ex-girlfriends house ? Then we could egg Paul's car ?
My name is M***. I am a 28 year old registered Socialist (even
though that means they send me a Republican voter ID card). I am a
pretty laid back person, so laid back that I drive a VW Microbus. I
love to hike with my dog Rigby (Irish Wolfhound), travel around
(slowly because of the bus), visit museums, go out for drinks, and
pretty much anything else.
I really enjoy politics and history. I play the drums and I can cook.
I am a commercial electrician originally from the great blue state of
New York. I have been out here for 6 years. My family all lives in
North Carolina. I go and visit them once or twice a year.
I am just looking for someone to go on casual dates with for now. I
don't know how ready I am to jump back in the saddle of full time
commitment right now, but, I am ready to date for sure. I won't
pressure you into sex either, I probably won't pressure you into
kissing either. I guess I am shy about that kind of
stuff.................but once I feel comfortable, I can be alot more
assertive(not aggressive).
I have a myspace account if you want to read alittle more about
me,,,,,,,,,,there is a picture of my dog, none of me as of yet. I
will try and put one on though
the link is www.myspace.com/****
I hope that if I am not what you are looking for that you can find
someone to make you happy and get this whole mess behind you.
m***
25
you kidding me
26
Sorry I just wanted to be honest with you so that if we never meet at
least you can use this advice. I do think I could have fun with you
though. I like all food but my favorites are thai and greek. I do
not like to define my political status because believe that good
values and actions should stand above all else. I like art and am in
school right now for design. Blah, blah, blah, I could go on and on
but what is it that you want in a guy. I know a little attraction
would have to be there so I would like to see a picture of you and
i'll return the favor if interested. I think we have some common
interests so that's a good start. If you don't like this response
thats ok and I wish you well on your search.
27
Okay honey... just taking a stab that you might not be fully over this Paul thing..... and that's okay cuz its hard to get over someone right away...
But in my 41 years, i've had quite a journey....from the woods of Michigan to the deserts of Arizona. Had great women, have had lousy women, have had appreciative women, had ungrateful women.... but the one thing that remains...if I still love women.
So I just am cleaning up a LTR of my own... and since this isn't the first one.... for either of us I would assume... we both know how to make those feelings change... and that's by falling for someone new....
Now I can't promise you you'll fall in love with me, don't even want to venture that you'll want to see me after Saturday night.... but if we get to where you want a kiss....the kiss will be the first step of Paul being a memory.
So let's start your memory loss this weekend......
28
Trying to find a date for your Dog? You are one sick lady and need professional help!
29
I think someone still needs a little time to get over Paul!!!! You have way to much baggage lady!!
30
will you sack my sack in the sack ?
31
SUBJECT LINE: Hit it .... and quit it !!
Hows that for a pickup line ? Yip thats what I would say !! Are you serious .... botanical gardens and the outlet mall? Im a native Arizonan ... Too much outdoor adventure to explore and have fun .... hope you find Mr Paul #2 ... sounds like you miss him ALOT !! :)
32 (and last but not least...)
Your posting has been flagged down by craigslist users.
Approximately 98% of postings removed by flagging are in violation of craigslist posting guidelines.
Please make sure you are abiding by all posted site rules, including our terms of use:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/terms.of.use.html
If you need help figuring out why your posting was flagged, try asking other craigslist users in our flag help forum: http://forums.craigslist.org/?forumID=3. Include posting title, body, category, city, how often posted, any images, HTML markup, etc.
If your posting was wrongly flagged down (2% of flagged ads are) please accept our apologies and feel free to repost.
Sorry for the hassle, and thanks for your understanding.
RESPONSES: Some Pick-up Lines From Phoenix (VOL 2)
11
PUT A REAL PICTURE UP OF YOU....NOT SOME STUPID DOG? OR IS THAT YOU?
12
What you really need to do is get over Paul. You say you werent a stalker but go back and re read your ad. You mentioned Paul how many times? And you are not a stalker? Maybe you arent a stalker, but if you want to find a nice guy, lose the "Paul" memories and quit talking about him.
*(Brilliant.)
13
Is Fungus single? My Australian Shepard/Wolf Hybrid, Dodger, is looking for someone as well. Now you have to give me credit for a unique pick up line!
It appears you do not like Paul, so we already have something in common! Are we off to a great start, or what? I enjoy anything outgoing and athletic, life has taught me to enjoy the adrenaline rush as well, let's sky dive, downhill mountain bike, ride street bike at crazy speeds...or just relax to a dinner I will prepare or a night out of dancing, dining, or laughing.......
I hope this sparks your interest!
14
People ALWAYS draw others that mirror who they really are but hate to admit it. Honey, "like energies attract." Take "Paul" up with God, God made things this way. :)
15
Hey there / just read your post...... U sure make lots of references to Paul.....
Makes me wonder if your really over him and are truly ready to move on........
And was that a pic of Paul???..lol...
TTYL J***
16
I guess Paul was right, you are obsessed, All you talk about is him in your ad looking for another guy. Sounds like he got smart and got rid of you just in time before you ice picked him to death.
17
u r kinda dog faced. at least can u deep throat a big cock?
18
ur obsessed wth paul because thats all u mention if u want a real man to take care of u i wll make u forget about paul i promise my name is d**** u wont be disappointed thax
*(THAX?! What the fuck is thax?)
19
Your outlook on leftist politics is childish and ignorant at best. Simple country girl, huh? Simple minded indeed.
20
lol girl r u ok yikes
u sound crazy no offense
21
My god you are obsessed. You are also a lunatic, thank god Paul got out of that alive. but your probably stalking him right now so you will soon remedy that. Please do us all a favor and go crawl under a rock somewhere. Any person that wants to get picked up by a pick up line has got issues and is worth her weight in cow dung. Oh and get rid of the overgrown rat in the picture or is that a self portrait.
later LOSER
CONTINUED IN VOLUME 3, BIATCHES...
PUT A REAL PICTURE UP OF YOU....NOT SOME STUPID DOG? OR IS THAT YOU?
12
What you really need to do is get over Paul. You say you werent a stalker but go back and re read your ad. You mentioned Paul how many times? And you are not a stalker? Maybe you arent a stalker, but if you want to find a nice guy, lose the "Paul" memories and quit talking about him.
*(Brilliant.)
13
Is Fungus single? My Australian Shepard/Wolf Hybrid, Dodger, is looking for someone as well. Now you have to give me credit for a unique pick up line!
It appears you do not like Paul, so we already have something in common! Are we off to a great start, or what? I enjoy anything outgoing and athletic, life has taught me to enjoy the adrenaline rush as well, let's sky dive, downhill mountain bike, ride street bike at crazy speeds...or just relax to a dinner I will prepare or a night out of dancing, dining, or laughing.......
I hope this sparks your interest!
14
People ALWAYS draw others that mirror who they really are but hate to admit it. Honey, "like energies attract." Take "Paul" up with God, God made things this way. :)
15
Hey there / just read your post...... U sure make lots of references to Paul.....
Makes me wonder if your really over him and are truly ready to move on........
And was that a pic of Paul???..lol...
TTYL J***
16
I guess Paul was right, you are obsessed, All you talk about is him in your ad looking for another guy. Sounds like he got smart and got rid of you just in time before you ice picked him to death.
17
u r kinda dog faced. at least can u deep throat a big cock?
18
ur obsessed wth paul because thats all u mention if u want a real man to take care of u i wll make u forget about paul i promise my name is d**** u wont be disappointed thax
*(THAX?! What the fuck is thax?)
19
Your outlook on leftist politics is childish and ignorant at best. Simple country girl, huh? Simple minded indeed.
20
lol girl r u ok yikes
u sound crazy no offense
21
My god you are obsessed. You are also a lunatic, thank god Paul got out of that alive. but your probably stalking him right now so you will soon remedy that. Please do us all a favor and go crawl under a rock somewhere. Any person that wants to get picked up by a pick up line has got issues and is worth her weight in cow dung. Oh and get rid of the overgrown rat in the picture or is that a self portrait.
later LOSER
CONTINUED IN VOLUME 3, BIATCHES...
RESPONSES: Some Pick-up Lines From Phoenix (VOL 1)
Sorry it took me so long to get these responses up. After a bout of food poisoning, I feel ready to sit in one place without writhing in pain and having to revisit the throne.
And again, though there are many responses (almost 70), I'll post only the best ones. I warn you--there are many. Many seem to think they know good pick-up lines. Others seem to think they don't need them.
1
Well.......here goes
How about two nice guys from cali helping you forget Paul.......I'm sure we can get your mind off of him !
We'll be in the Tempe area in a couple weeks to watch spring training. Let me know if you're interested.
A.T.
2
Woof WOOF !! Arrrrrr !! Woof! woof!
Yelp! EiiEE!
Arrrr....
3
hi there
if you have heels or boots id like to talk to you
here is my pic.
j**
*(Includes picture of hick in hick cowboy hat saying, "Yeehaw, women find 'tards hot!")
4
It barely works via the internet but... " are those space pants?
because your ass it out of this world"
I'm a pretty simple guy.
So I am in Phoenix for 2 months for work (I'm a test driver /
engineer), and I would love to meet some people. I work long hours
during the week normally, but my weekends are usually pretty free, and
then I either have to choose to hang out alone or with my coworkers
(who I have spent all week with, and most of them are 20 years older
then me).
Speaking of age, I'm 25, I'm rather outdoorsy and would love to do
some light hiking in the mountains, but would also be up for
conversation over coffee, or just settling in for the night with a
movie.
K***
5
hello, i'm 33 yrs old from S. Scottsdale I live on my own with my dog
Bruno he's a german shephard that loves everyboday and everything
(were working on cats) :) . I've never been married no kids and like
you i'm sure Life in the fast lane is most likely in your blood :)
I'm professionally employed but still loves life and fun. I actually
pasted part of the email i tried to send before because it was
rejected because the email was too large I guess because of my pic.
So a brief description but i'm sure it sounds like every "Joe" out
there :) 6'0, 190, brown hair, green eyes and not badly built
(athletic) hate that word :) I just skate don't need no freakin
weights :) Anyways if your interested email me back and i'll send a
pic. Hope to talk to you soon.
P.S. I'm not much of a smoother in words on the email, it totally
feels cheesy so let me tell you what i'd day if I was at a club or
say a crowded bar? So I make my way up to the bar and it crowded and
I end up standing by a girl lets say like you. I would start up
the conversation like for example. So have any luck on getting the
bartenders attention"? and you say no i would ask well well lets
help each other out if I get his attention first i'll order for both
of us and vise versa" I say that because i'm sure your beautiful and
its typical if the guy offers to buy you a drink, so I make a deal to
go dutch regardless who gets the drinks. (Note if drinks arent for
a party i would buy them.) So since were waiting for our drinks I'd
ask your name where you kicking if I can help you deliver you
drinks. :) well I know the email is long hope to talk to you soon
and I'll send a pic.
6
You sound awesome! let me know if you would like to get together sometime...
I am 29 swm 5 10 190
*(Not a particularly exciting email, but this one includes a picture of a guy holding a baby. This could mean, 'I'm a daddy,' or it could mean, 'I'm good with kids, you'll call me Daddy,' or even, 'I sell kids on the black market. Want to buy this one?'
7
Well, first of all...we need to get a good pic up on your ad....and I
do take good pics! Fungus is cute though....
We'll should Paul the Prick a thing or two!
I like your spunk....
I drive that area to work daily...will buy you a drink of your desire
if you are interested.
S****
N.Phx.
45
8
Remember me...... I was the guy that dumped that plate of salmon in your ex's pants?
What the fuck does this mean?
9
A night with me is like breakfast at Burger King.....Either way...you wake up with the king.
D***
10
I WOULD TREAT YO LIKE A PRINCESS AND LICK YOU IN FRON TOF PAUL?WANNA TEASE AND SHOW PAUL WHAT HE`LL NEVER GET?
*(But didn't Paul already...'get' her?)
CONTINUED? YES! IN VOLUME 2!!!
And again, though there are many responses (almost 70), I'll post only the best ones. I warn you--there are many. Many seem to think they know good pick-up lines. Others seem to think they don't need them.
1
Well.......here goes
How about two nice guys from cali helping you forget Paul.......I'm sure we can get your mind off of him !
We'll be in the Tempe area in a couple weeks to watch spring training. Let me know if you're interested.
A.T.
2
Woof WOOF !! Arrrrrr !! Woof! woof!
Yelp! EiiEE!
Arrrr....
3
hi there
if you have heels or boots id like to talk to you
here is my pic.
j**
*(Includes picture of hick in hick cowboy hat saying, "Yeehaw, women find 'tards hot!")
4
It barely works via the internet but... " are those space pants?
because your ass it out of this world"
I'm a pretty simple guy.
So I am in Phoenix for 2 months for work (I'm a test driver /
engineer), and I would love to meet some people. I work long hours
during the week normally, but my weekends are usually pretty free, and
then I either have to choose to hang out alone or with my coworkers
(who I have spent all week with, and most of them are 20 years older
then me).
Speaking of age, I'm 25, I'm rather outdoorsy and would love to do
some light hiking in the mountains, but would also be up for
conversation over coffee, or just settling in for the night with a
movie.
K***
5
hello, i'm 33 yrs old from S. Scottsdale I live on my own with my dog
Bruno he's a german shephard that loves everyboday and everything
(were working on cats) :) . I've never been married no kids and like
you i'm sure Life in the fast lane is most likely in your blood :)
I'm professionally employed but still loves life and fun. I actually
pasted part of the email i tried to send before because it was
rejected because the email was too large I guess because of my pic.
So a brief description but i'm sure it sounds like every "Joe" out
there :) 6'0, 190, brown hair, green eyes and not badly built
(athletic) hate that word :) I just skate don't need no freakin
weights :) Anyways if your interested email me back and i'll send a
pic. Hope to talk to you soon.
P.S. I'm not much of a smoother in words on the email, it totally
feels cheesy so let me tell you what i'd day if I was at a club or
say a crowded bar? So I make my way up to the bar and it crowded and
I end up standing by a girl lets say like you. I would start up
the conversation like for example. So have any luck on getting the
bartenders attention"? and you say no i would ask well well lets
help each other out if I get his attention first i'll order for both
of us and vise versa" I say that because i'm sure your beautiful and
its typical if the guy offers to buy you a drink, so I make a deal to
go dutch regardless who gets the drinks. (Note if drinks arent for
a party i would buy them.) So since were waiting for our drinks I'd
ask your name where you kicking if I can help you deliver you
drinks. :) well I know the email is long hope to talk to you soon
and I'll send a pic.
6
You sound awesome! let me know if you would like to get together sometime...
I am 29 swm 5 10 190
*(Not a particularly exciting email, but this one includes a picture of a guy holding a baby. This could mean, 'I'm a daddy,' or it could mean, 'I'm good with kids, you'll call me Daddy,' or even, 'I sell kids on the black market. Want to buy this one?'
7
Well, first of all...we need to get a good pic up on your ad....and I
do take good pics! Fungus is cute though....
We'll should Paul the Prick a thing or two!
I like your spunk....
I drive that area to work daily...will buy you a drink of your desire
if you are interested.
S****
N.Phx.
45
8
Remember me...... I was the guy that dumped that plate of salmon in your ex's pants?
What the fuck does this mean?
9
A night with me is like breakfast at Burger King.....Either way...you wake up with the king.
D***
10
I WOULD TREAT YO LIKE A PRINCESS AND LICK YOU IN FRON TOF PAUL?WANNA TEASE AND SHOW PAUL WHAT HE`LL NEVER GET?
*(But didn't Paul already...'get' her?)
CONTINUED? YES! IN VOLUME 2!!!
Saturday, March 3, 2007
RESPONSES: Houston CL Ad for the Painkiller Addict
This ad probably got the least amount of responses so far: 22. That's not bad, actually. After all, it was flagged and removed after only a couple of days. This is a trend as of late. Also, there was seemed to be suspicion on the part of those replying to the ad that it wasn't real.
All well. That's life, I guess. Let's look at the best ones. This will soon follow with the responses to the Phoenix ad. I'm surprised, actually; the Phoenix ad got about 70 responses, and it seemed far stranger than this one.
1
just a passing question, is your post a joke? i think it is, but you can never catch voice inflection. requiring GPA? no problem with race except for asian, hispanic, and black? what other races are there. i'm pretty sure you're being facetious, but i was wondering anyway.
2
I read your post, but I am confused. You want intellectuals to audition for a chance to help you move? What's Sandusky State College? And a 4 year diploma in communications seems to indicate your abilty to communicate, but I am still confused. What did you study? The college I went to doesn't transfer communications major courses because they are, well...bullshit.
I studied physics at Occidental College, biology and psychology at Grayson County College and astronomy at California Institute of Technology. My Bachelor's Degree is actually more impressive than an Ivy League education, but would I make the grade with you? I dunno.
*(He's so smart and seems to annoyed by the ad, yet is trying to impress us...unless he's really just the fry-boy at the Micky D's off of Highway 6 through Sugarland.)
3
Man. You got balls thats for sure. I mean its one thing to get guys to come over then make them move you when there trying to impress you and wont say no. But, its something else to tell them whats up and still expect them to come over and help you move. lol Funny thing is, you will get some tards to go for it. Darlin, if i was to come over to help you move, there had better be a blow job in it for sure.. not some maybe if i like you crap. Hell, thats a $500 move. Why would i help you save that money just for a chance to date you? I could take that money and go buy me plenty of "girlfriends" and not have to bust my ass.. lol I got to hand it to you.. i would love to know how you made out. promise me you will post on craigslist how it turned out..
4
im not in college but i have access to a truck to help you out if you like
5
i do have a truck and i'm kind of what your looking for but aready busy saturday...sorry..but if all the guys who show up are losers here is a pic...i'm 5'9,165,white,brown hair,blue eyes,and in great shape....and very good looking...lol so here is a pic if you like you know what to do...do you have anymore pics??????? jason
6
No truck. And have to teach Saturday morning. And no Ivy (but a Seven Sister school, so). ... But your ad is so witty and acute that I just had to respond ....
I wonder if you're for real. I am. ... In the hopes that you are, here are some vitals: 6 feet, 215, brown hair/eyes, full lips, expressive eyes, told good package. Educated, open, adventurous, creative, in my professional and personal lives. Writer for a living. You? 42, not married, no kids. Blah, blah, blah. And, yes, I have a pic or two I could forward, if you'd do the same. ... I'm in B***, not far at all. And I come to Houston often since I went there for grad school. So ...
7
I liked your personal ad. I'm single, safe, sane, squeeky clean, sensual,
you know, the 5S's, responsible, not a trendoid, med build, brown hair,
hazel eyes, glasses, clean shaven (face), 8-1/2D shoe size.
Your ad. doesn't say anything about the affection you like. It would help
to give some examples.
Send photos and write back soon,
S*****
8
Nice try, no sale!
9
Only if you can suck start a Harley!
*(That's fucking brilliant.)
10
My favorite joke? I have to say your post. I assume it was a tongue in cheek post directed at the way some on this site post. However, there is just enough suspicion of my fellow man to believe someone would post this, especially if messed up on painkillers.
D***
11
You gotta be kidding @#$%^&*(
12
Hi, I have no jokes but I really like your posting, nice way to catch some attention, the pic itsel tell a lot about you, I would love to have a friend like you.
13
Sandusky Ohio, huh? Do you know Tommy Callahan? His dad (Big Tom Callahan) owns a factory there (Callahan Auto Parts). He makes oil filters. He was expanding into manufacturing brake pads when he died from a heart attack, on his wedding day no less, to a "10". But Tommy boy took over and saved the day.
You know, if you want a steak, you can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up...uhhhh... no, I mean ....you can look at a steak and stick your head up a cow's ass..uhhhh ....no,...
;)
Steve
14
Well, i am not mailing you with a joke, but thanks to you, i got the joke for the day thanks to reading your dribble. You dont seriously think an educated person would be impressed by you? And come on, you ask for honesty, and then say you broke up because your boyfriend said you looked like a $2 whatever. Shame on you. I prefer a woman that doesnt wear make up anyway. Look luck on the guys you;re meeting saturday, i am sure they will all be gems. Especially with a genius like you thinking a business idea like tha would actually materialise into a job. And i dont spell words with a "z" because i am not american.
*(He must hate zebras.)
15
blow us
16
i'm sorry , fuck you
17
Your ad is totally contradictory you seem educated , however you don't know that
the correct term is Latino not Spanish. That refers to people of Castillian descent i.e. from
Spain and surrounding areas. Also from a legal standpoint your babymaker condoms
could be a lawsuit waiting to happen. This is all just constructive criticism from a
good guy. Good luck.
18
HI I'M DAVID, IF YOU NEED HELP MOVING, THEN I WILL HELP, I'M OLD-SCHOOL AND DON'T AND WILL NOT COMPETE WITH OTHERS TO WIN OVER YOUR HEART, BY MOVING YOU. YOU MUST LIKE ME FOR ME THAT INCLUDES PERSONALITY, SENCE OF HUMOR, JOKES, LOOKS, AND WHAT EVER ELSE. NOT BY FINDING OUT WHO TO HANG WITH.
19 (from person who sent above email)
SO WOULD YOU LIKE TO CALL ME I'M IN SUGARLAND,
20
our posting has been flagged down by craigslist users.
Approximately 98% of postings removed by flagging are in violation of craigslist posting guidelines.
Please make sure you are abiding by all posted site rules, including our terms of use:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/terms.of.use.html
If you need help figuring out why your posting was flagged, try asking other craigslist users in our flag help forum: http://forums.craigslist.org/?forumID=3. Include posting title, body, category, city, how often posted, any images, HTML markup, etc.
If your posting was wrongly flagged down (2% of flagged ads are) please accept our apologies and feel free to repost.
Sorry for the hassle, and thanks for your understanding.
All well. That's life, I guess. Let's look at the best ones. This will soon follow with the responses to the Phoenix ad. I'm surprised, actually; the Phoenix ad got about 70 responses, and it seemed far stranger than this one.
1
just a passing question, is your post a joke? i think it is, but you can never catch voice inflection. requiring GPA? no problem with race except for asian, hispanic, and black? what other races are there. i'm pretty sure you're being facetious, but i was wondering anyway.
2
I read your post, but I am confused. You want intellectuals to audition for a chance to help you move? What's Sandusky State College? And a 4 year diploma in communications seems to indicate your abilty to communicate, but I am still confused. What did you study? The college I went to doesn't transfer communications major courses because they are, well...bullshit.
I studied physics at Occidental College, biology and psychology at Grayson County College and astronomy at California Institute of Technology. My Bachelor's Degree is actually more impressive than an Ivy League education, but would I make the grade with you? I dunno.
*(He's so smart and seems to annoyed by the ad, yet is trying to impress us...unless he's really just the fry-boy at the Micky D's off of Highway 6 through Sugarland.)
3
Man. You got balls thats for sure. I mean its one thing to get guys to come over then make them move you when there trying to impress you and wont say no. But, its something else to tell them whats up and still expect them to come over and help you move. lol Funny thing is, you will get some tards to go for it. Darlin, if i was to come over to help you move, there had better be a blow job in it for sure.. not some maybe if i like you crap. Hell, thats a $500 move. Why would i help you save that money just for a chance to date you? I could take that money and go buy me plenty of "girlfriends" and not have to bust my ass.. lol I got to hand it to you.. i would love to know how you made out. promise me you will post on craigslist how it turned out..
4
im not in college but i have access to a truck to help you out if you like
5
i do have a truck and i'm kind of what your looking for but aready busy saturday...sorry..but if all the guys who show up are losers here is a pic...i'm 5'9,165,white,brown hair,blue eyes,and in great shape....and very good looking...lol so here is a pic if you like you know what to do...do you have anymore pics??????? jason
6
No truck. And have to teach Saturday morning. And no Ivy (but a Seven Sister school, so). ... But your ad is so witty and acute that I just had to respond ....
I wonder if you're for real. I am. ... In the hopes that you are, here are some vitals: 6 feet, 215, brown hair/eyes, full lips, expressive eyes, told good package. Educated, open, adventurous, creative, in my professional and personal lives. Writer for a living. You? 42, not married, no kids. Blah, blah, blah. And, yes, I have a pic or two I could forward, if you'd do the same. ... I'm in B***, not far at all. And I come to Houston often since I went there for grad school. So ...
7
I liked your personal ad. I'm single, safe, sane, squeeky clean, sensual,
you know, the 5S's, responsible, not a trendoid, med build, brown hair,
hazel eyes, glasses, clean shaven (face), 8-1/2D shoe size.
Your ad. doesn't say anything about the affection you like. It would help
to give some examples.
Send photos and write back soon,
S*****
8
Nice try, no sale!
9
Only if you can suck start a Harley!
*(That's fucking brilliant.)
10
My favorite joke? I have to say your post. I assume it was a tongue in cheek post directed at the way some on this site post. However, there is just enough suspicion of my fellow man to believe someone would post this, especially if messed up on painkillers.
D***
11
You gotta be kidding @#$%^&*(
12
Hi, I have no jokes but I really like your posting, nice way to catch some attention, the pic itsel tell a lot about you, I would love to have a friend like you.
13
Sandusky Ohio, huh? Do you know Tommy Callahan? His dad (Big Tom Callahan) owns a factory there (Callahan Auto Parts). He makes oil filters. He was expanding into manufacturing brake pads when he died from a heart attack, on his wedding day no less, to a "10". But Tommy boy took over and saved the day.
You know, if you want a steak, you can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up...uhhhh... no, I mean ....you can look at a steak and stick your head up a cow's ass..uhhhh ....no,...
;)
Steve
14
Well, i am not mailing you with a joke, but thanks to you, i got the joke for the day thanks to reading your dribble. You dont seriously think an educated person would be impressed by you? And come on, you ask for honesty, and then say you broke up because your boyfriend said you looked like a $2 whatever. Shame on you. I prefer a woman that doesnt wear make up anyway. Look luck on the guys you;re meeting saturday, i am sure they will all be gems. Especially with a genius like you thinking a business idea like tha would actually materialise into a job. And i dont spell words with a "z" because i am not american.
*(He must hate zebras.)
15
blow us
16
i'm sorry , fuck you
17
Your ad is totally contradictory you seem educated , however you don't know that
the correct term is Latino not Spanish. That refers to people of Castillian descent i.e. from
Spain and surrounding areas. Also from a legal standpoint your babymaker condoms
could be a lawsuit waiting to happen. This is all just constructive criticism from a
good guy. Good luck.
18
HI I'M DAVID, IF YOU NEED HELP MOVING, THEN I WILL HELP, I'M OLD-SCHOOL AND DON'T AND WILL NOT COMPETE WITH OTHERS TO WIN OVER YOUR HEART, BY MOVING YOU. YOU MUST LIKE ME FOR ME THAT INCLUDES PERSONALITY, SENCE OF HUMOR, JOKES, LOOKS, AND WHAT EVER ELSE. NOT BY FINDING OUT WHO TO HANG WITH.
19 (from person who sent above email)
SO WOULD YOU LIKE TO CALL ME I'M IN SUGARLAND,
20
our posting has been flagged down by craigslist users.
Approximately 98% of postings removed by flagging are in violation of craigslist posting guidelines.
Please make sure you are abiding by all posted site rules, including our terms of use:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/terms.of.use.html
If you need help figuring out why your posting was flagged, try asking other craigslist users in our flag help forum: http://forums.craigslist.org/?forumID=3. Include posting title, body, category, city, how often posted, any images, HTML markup, etc.
If your posting was wrongly flagged down (2% of flagged ads are) please accept our apologies and feel free to repost.
Sorry for the hassle, and thanks for your understanding.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
