CL Ad: I'll cook for you and we'll have fun together!

A simple ad from just a generally strange woman.

My friends call me Chips because I love the show Chips and I love to eat chips. I know that sounds strange, but the nickname stuck.

I'm looking for a boyfriend. You must like big women (I'm 6'1", but not fat--just pretty tall for most men). I dated a guy who claimed he didn't have a criminal record but he did. You can't have a criminal record or I WILL turn you in (don't test me or you can ask my ex). You must like kids. I don't have any, but would really like to have some soon. Even if we don't work out, I'm thinking I'll probably still want kids (please be prepared to share results of any blood work you've have done recently just in case we do work out). College educated guys ONLY, please. Accountants preferred. I also will be more attracted to you if you have more dainty features than rugged looks (Leonardo Di Capro rather than Sean Connery).

Most of my friends think I'm pretty nice. I thought I was a lesbian up until about 4 years ago when I realized I wasn't (this happens to a lot of women believe it or not). I think it was because I knew a lot of cool lesbians and I thought I was one. Anyway, I don't define myself by my sexuality (though I probably was the more alpha role in my previous relationships with other women).

I like a lot of things, but especially cooking and baking (I make homemade apple turnovers a lot so be ready). I got a degree in engineering history at New Mexico Tech but have a day job as an accountant (went back and got another degree in accounting from CSU San Bernardino). If you like talking shop, I do too; I actually find accounting to be a passion of mine (don't get me started on Sarbanes-Oxley). I write a regular column in an accounting newsletter called Holding the Flag (mostly geared towards white and anti-immigration professionals, though I'm more of a liberal conservative and am open to dating all races (though I prefer you to be white or Asian)).

As a final note, please understand there is a bit of a time constraint. If we don't work out within three weeks, I'm going to have to move on to another guy until I can find a father for my children. Please don't take this lightly, as children are not something to joke about.