15
I hope your reading closely. I'm not a magician. I'm an engineer. I'm
the guy you don't want in your audience because I've figured the
Illusion out before your done. It's almost a curse because I want to
believe. I'd love to see a real magician at work.
I'm tall 6'3, In great shape, brown hair blue eyes. I don't like white
russians and I'm obviously not a golfer, love Creedence, Hate the
fucking eagles, love the In & out burger on rampart and also a little
show called Branded.
(The key is that he'd "love to see a real magician at work.")
16
Hail and well met milady. I come to apply for service as your assistant, your confidant and your one woman man. I understand about the magic and would glad to help convince the audience. I am highly believable, especially with things that are real. Why am I unique? I believe you. I am not just humoring you. I have seen things in my life that have convinced me that there is more than most people understand. I am also not squeamish nor easily freaked out. I am exceptionally open minded. I am also a sword fighter as well as a fencing teacher. My day job is computer programming however. I will also not treat you as a freak nor let any of the magic be something that gets between us. Why should I? Its an integral part of you. I am laid back. I am that rare elusive of breeds, the nice guy.
May we raise the curtain on this act milady?
17
So...what makes me unique? BESIDES my specific genetic makeup?
Well I suppose it’s the life I’ve lived.
I rode down a mountain in a car with no brakes.
I walked alone through a Pittsburgh ghetto that was actually on fire.
I wrote a piece that was published in the biggest paper in America.
I taught kindergarten in a foriegn land where I didn't speak the language.
I graduated college without graduating high school.
I fought three guys and a german shepard at the same time.
I won a political campaign in Chicago that I was supposed to lose.
I did something very bad once that still haunts me today.
I restored a 1970 Dodge with far too much money.
I wrote an award winning screenplay on my first try.
I scalped SNL tickets every weekend when I was 15.
I was a NY Times copyboy at the age of 16
I was on my own from the age of 14
I ruined a man's 5 million dollar business for saying something racist.
I invented several names for nail polish at Maybelline.
I helped create the worst reality show ever...and it will never be seen.
I was a top morning show DJ on a country radio station in Vermont.
I took paxil as part of a paid 30 day drug research study even though I wasn't suffering from depression (and resultingly, giggled for 1 month straight)
And I love my life.
I’ve got great friends. A nice apartment and I love what I do for a living. I'm making TV.
Really.
Not in that "I've got a really good shot at it and I'm trying to live my dream" way. Or in that "I'm a waiter who's REALLY a producer" way. I work for a giant production company. I get a good salary. And I make TV everyday. Some of it's good. Some is really bad. But everyday I get to come up with ideas and everyday some of them get used. It's not what I wanted to do when I was a kid. But it's pretty damn close.
And if none of that’s done the trick, let me add that, with the aide of only a book I got from the library, I hypnotized my ex-girlfriend to give up smoking. But before she came out of it I gave her a suggestion that made her get more turned on than she's ever been by going down on me. I didn't think it would work. It did. A lot.
R**** R**
PS – I’m also, as a resident of Culver City, geographically desirable. I looked it up on mapquest.
(He's also, as a shithead of anywhere, retardastically a fuckhead. What a prick. He sounds like one of those guys who I want to bitch slap after only seconds of hearing them talk.)
18
How could anyone send you the same response they send everyone else?
I mean, with a posting like yours they'd have to be insane.
That was one of the most original and amusing ads I've read. You
should be applauded as much for that as for your ability to raise the
temperature of small bodies of water. I was thoroughly impressed. Hope
you find the magic man.
19
Hi,
I read your post, and things became more intriging each passing word. I thought this sounds like alot of fun.
Reese witherspoon and Helen hunt is not a bad combo. Russian girls are cute. And, I'm not an idiot for really wanting to be apart
of a magic trick. You come off as mildly egocentric as I am, strong headed, good willed, attractive, sensibile, and if this atleast sounds like you a bit
just maybe we could hit it off... I'm not generally a coffee date person, but I don't mind a good tea, a good honey, or even a good coffee for that matter.
What ever works, shoot... tell me somthing though, ...is your magic... REal!? Magic?.) Can you cast spell's? I'm sorry for being so excited but I've never been so close
to magic. Do you have a crystal ball? If you don't maybe we can go find one... And, oh, yes... Do you see your mind's eye? Cause that is so cool...
I wonder...
20
I think I like what you say, because I believe in it.
H****
(Yes, he bolded 'believe in it.')
21
wow.........
what a chicken shit pic.........
And of course...
22
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