Responses: FEMALE Magician Seeking a Man (VOL 2)

Volume 2 is just one email. You can go to Volume 3 after you read it. I felt this one email was worth a volume all by itself.

14 Winner of the Longest Goddamn Email Award*

Good evening,

Your ad was by far the most interesting
ad that I've ever read in my life. No shit.

My first response after reading your words
was:

Huh. Me too!

Yes, I've been dead a couple of times.
Legally dead and brought back.
Weird stuff has been happening ever since.
Psychic events beyond explanation.
I lost my last girlfriend because
her co-workers were freaked out
that I was reading minds.

It's not like I did it without permission...

We were in Malibu at a bar
and I began asking people
to pick a number between 1 and 20.
Got one. 16
Got two. 5
Got three. 17,

Then I started asking them to pick a color
and an animal.
Got one. Blue Horse.
Got two. Green Elephant.

Then it started getting really out of control.
The entire bar seemed to gravitate towards me
people were getting the highest vibration
that they've ever felt.
I was guessing them left and right.
Getting responses like 'Holy shit!'
Some just screamed with overflowing joy and excitement.
It's like I'm tingling their mind.
I can feel it you know.
Some people were grinning from ear to ear like cartoons.
Some were slightly scared. I could here them mumbling things like:
'this guy is weird', or 'that guy is freaky'.
Some people, especially this one dude was acting all hostile
towards me...saying shit like: 'You ain't right man!'
He was mad and wanted to challenge me--- he said 'all right, all right I bet you will not get mine fucker, just try it!'

So I looked him dead in the eyes and he was throwing curves at me
changing the colors---so I calmly said, 'stop changing colors, and just pick one.'
This scared him a little. His face expression went from cocky-angry-dude, to worried-boy.
The two objects that popped into my head were quite impressive---
There were about 50 people, plus the bartenders(who was giving me free drinks for guessing random shit that he was thinking)
all gathered around--and the silence was scary.
The color and animal that this dude picked were extremely random.
I said, 'wow, those were pretty tough--- magenta-lemur??'

His mouth dropped open and closed and opened and closed---he looked like a fish out of water trying to breathe.

Then he started yelling that I was the devil, and that I was evil.
I'm like, dude chill out, you're trippin'.
He persuaded a couple of the people in the crowd
that people shouldn't be able to do that and that I was wicked.
They were looking at me like I was some animal in a cage.
My girlfriend said that she was catching a ride to her apartment
from her friend. I'm stunned.
'Why?' I asked her.
She responded with : 'Well, she's kind of freaked out by you...how did you do that? Why did you do that?'

Before I could answer---she left me in the middle of a human storm.
I looked at the bartender who raised his eyebrows and poured me a shot of Patron.
I drank my shot and walked to my car feeling like the lonliest man in the world.

I don't know who you are---but right now--as I'm typing this--I'm having the strangest
feeling of De-Ja-Vou.
Life is a fucking trip.

I'm not looking for a relationship, I already have one of those.
I'm not a cheater either.

So why am I reading the ads on craigslist?
Two reasons:
1. They are entertaining. Not the ones that are genuinely sweet and heart-felt.
I'm talking about the freaks.

2. So I decided to make a coffee table book of some of the best ones and I just need
to get my bud who is an artist to crank out some artwork to go along with the words.

I read everything on craigslist--its amazingly addictive.
I've furnished my apartment, sold a car, got therapeutic massages,
and I love reading the 'best-of for entertainment.

I hope you're life is great.

I'm learning to deal with what I have.
This thing comes and goes---I never know
when it's going to happen.
If I feel it coming--I avoid the public
at all costs.
I've learned to tune it out.

Talk to you soon,

J****

*And since there is no award, he's just a flaming fucking weirdo.