CL Ad: FEMALE Magician Seeks a Man

I was disheartened that nobody responded to my M4W ad. I decided I had to do a W4M ad. Men in this city are desperate, because they typically will answer any ad. It could be an ad posted by a 450 pound crack addict fat chick with every STD in the book, and it'd get responses (maybe not many).

This isn't a 450 pound crack addict. Just a magician...

See it here while it's still up on Craigslist.

Or read it here:

You + Me = Magic

I am a professional magician and I'm looking for a man who likes to have a good time, knows how to drink, and is enthusiastic about taking an active role in my magic act.

UNDERSTAND: This magic is real. You have to help me convince the audience. Sometimes it's pretty dangerous, but always worth the effort. I don't do the stupid "tricks" you see on TV where somebody gets sawed in half and gets put back together, nor will I take somebody's watch and smash it just so it appears back on their wrist moments later. Using various instruments, I saw off parts of my body in front of the audience and reattach them. I do NOT do kids parties; kids cannot typically take blood and bits of bone.

I look like you're typical blonde--a bit like Reese Witherspoon crossed with Helen Hunt, but with a dark side. My magic started when I was 6 years old and drowned in my parents' hot tub. I floated face down for about an hour before they came home and found me. They called 911, but by the time help came I was up and around. Ever since then, I've had other-worldly skills. I can also raise the temperature of small bodies of water (anything under 50 gallons) by about ten degrees in a matter of seconds, but I don't incorporate this skill into performances (people are rarely impressed).

YOU: Can't be squeamish. Though my magic comes naturally to me, I practice every day for hours at a time. I sometimes leave parts of my body at opposite ends of my apartment (though I usually practice in a studio in Santa Monica) and leave them that way for several minutes. You must be willing to handle this. You should be educated, open-minded, clean, and stick to a one-woman-one-man policy. You love white Russians and even know why I'm saying this (and you thought I was making this up).

I look forward to hearing from YOU (and not the others). Tell me why you're unique compared with everyone else who sends me an email.

If you send me the same crap you copy and paste to every other ad on Craigslist, you'll regret it.