The Double Dating Couple: Responses

(1)
Hello,

Nice to see your message on craigslist... .. I am 27 m single Executive professional and live in P*******...

About me -I am outgoing and like to have nice and stimulating conversation. I
like to go to live concerts and clubs for drinks. I like to go for hiking
and love to play tennis. At the same time I am laid back and like to watch
movies over a glass of wine. :)

Tell me more about yourself and lets see if we have something in common....
Take care
p****

(2)
Hi, my name is Douglas, 44...I’m a photographer that is living in the
West Los Angeles area. The list goes on...Graphic Artist, Make-up
Artist...Kind of like Hollywood with a good heart. 5 ft., 10 in. tall,
Brown eyes, Brownish hair... I'm never too sure. I do know that it's my
natural color. I love dancing, singing, and being Romantic. Love going
to movies, the theatre, or picnics in the park. I miss walks on the
beach... Although, talking, cuddling, & kissing are nice...Real Nice.
Spontaneity plays a big role in my life. Happiness brings it on. It has
been said that I am quite the Smart A@*%!. Others just say that it's a
great sense of humor. I'd like to think it is a little of both. I used
to dance professionally. Beach volleyball is my sport (ha ha). Mountain
biking is one of my favorites. I usually ride the coast route (Pacific
Palisades to Redondo Beach). Looking to share myself with the right
person. Listen, I can't tell you everything…that would leave nothing
for the future...

Hope to hear from you,

Douglas

P.S. Please send a recent picture with your response...
*(This guy included a picture that looks like Bush Jr. after a rough night of drinking and a couple nights in a jail cell. After that dumbshit email, he deserves it.)

(3)
that's a pretty rad hairstyle...i haven't coloured mine in quite some time but, here i am....so how's the ad placement gone thus far?
*(Includes picture of guy with huge chin. Looks like a putz.)

(4)
Im exactly 5-10, I make over $200,000, I own 4 cars of which the cheapest one is a Mercedes, I went to a top 25 university, I have 3 degrees the highest being a doctorate, and I am attractive, but what is it you have to offer?

My xgf ihas 2 degress and is a PhD student, stands 5-1, weighs 95 pounds and is a natural 32 D. She only makes 75 an hour right now but after she completes her degree she will make 300-500 an hour. Oh yeah and she drives an 06 Porsche Cayman S.

What kind of car do you drive? How much money do you make? How much do you weigh? Whats your bra size?

(5)
How are you lady? Your ad peaked my interest. I am single and verry attractive i am also verry lonely i wake up every day wishing that i would be waking up with some one next to me n not an empty sapce on the bed i am an easy person to get along with i am verry caring i and a verry giving person i dont now how to take iam sick of not having some one to cuddle with i klove to cuddle if u like to cuddle also the please drop me a line.

~J

(6)
Hi,
No offence but from you post it seemed like you were looking for a better apartment and not a new boyfriend.
However, I cant fault you for being innovative and honest.
You mentioend almost everything about Geoff but you forgot one important detail. all said and done, why did your relationship fail to move forward with him.

And yes, by the way, I am S***, 24, a full time masters student at USC, and i am 6'2.
I am half south asian half Arab ( NO ! i am not a camel riding trigger happy shaikh ). And i believe i wouldt even have to wear a pink or florecent shirt to be spotted or differentiated in a crowd.

Take Care,
S***
*(Includes pic of the guy. Nothing crazy.)

(7)
Hi,

I'm 6'3'', very successful, drive a mercedez, traveled the world, great conversationalist.
I'm on the left in the pic.
If I'm your type, let's set up that date! G***
*(Includes pic of two guys (which one is he?). Each has his arm around the other. They wear fruity Hawaiian shirts. Maybe he's looking for the Men Seeking Men Ad.)

(8)
Our limbs intertwined with one another… connected at a root of pure energy, feeding off of one another… to be as deep into you as I can – filling you every time.. Non-stop.. as many as I can give you will take… feed, swallow, spill into and onto you.

To see flashes of ideas strobe thru my mind… like us in a darkened room with sparks of light showing different desires.. some dark.. some passionate…

To find your # in my email, we talk on the phone and you invite me to your door step, to find the door unlocked… to find candles leading the way to a naked you on the bed, head down, back arched, cheeks flushed, I can smell your sweet nectar… as I approach, I have already disrobed what would keep us apart, I run my hands over the length of your body, clasping your hands with mine.. pulling your hands/arms back to the small of your back, hearing you gulp hair down and grunt as I push you forward… and dive in.

To feel the layers of your soul peeling back as I take you… to hear your gasp and moan as what you desire has once returned to its proper place… deep into your womanhood I spill myself into you – over and over, denying you the ability to touch the one place that would take you over the edge.. holding you back from the abyss, then to pick you up, flip you over, your legs and thighs around my body.. looking deep into you.. you looking back into the abyss in to me.. as I engulf you… feeling your body split in twain, and I touch the one place that you have been yearning.. feeling me explode once again into you – as I feel you explode without onto me, all over me.. feeling you holding on for dear life… your fingers digging into me.. your whispers of don’t stop, please god don’t stop and I look down at you.. fall deep back into you… once again feeling yourself melt around me. Feeling the whole world shake and move.. as all my energy is flushed deep within and without you. Feeling your arches of your feet resting against my wide shoulders, feeling your body feel mine… taking you over and over…

I can see my tongue licking you from the top of your hood to the bottom of your anus. I can feel your lips against the meat of my tongue as I am circling the most sensitive part of your flower… while the tip of my tong plunges into you, drinking your sweet nectar – like the humming bird at a flower. I can imagine my thick cock pumping your sweet lips deep as I feel the head hitting the back of your throat, only to remember how your pussy would suck on me.. and at times I could not tell if I was deep in your womb, or down your throat…

To feel my breath on the back of your neck as I reach around playing with your clit, feeling my wide hands holding your body in place as I lick the sweat off of your shoulders – and you feel my thick throbbing cock deep in you.. feeling you throb back… and as I cum, to gently whisper your name, I’m coming!

36, 6'3" green eyes,

soft kissable lips & very oral,

very strong libido,

i'm 7" long x 6.5" around, its all about the girth!

Magnum XL's.
STD Free, DD Free, HIV-
*(Thankfully, does NOT include a pic. This wins the 'WTF? Award'! Congratulations! You win a lifetime supply of herpes!)

(9)
Yes so fresh.....
*(Crazy pic included. Obviously, they saw through my ad.)

(10)
Comment allez vous belle Madame,

How is it going? I saw your ad on craigslist and you seem more real than a lot of these other one liner ads and you sounded like someone who I would pursue so I decided to reply and hope to hear some good responses. I think the purpose of this first email is for you to get to know me and what I am all about right? since you mentioned a little bit about yourself already.

For starters, meaning you, a little appetizer about me wouldn't hurt, right? My name is W***, 27 young, asian/italian, Christian, 6'1, 180 lbs, tanned, toned, brown eyes, full lips, short stylish black hair - fussy spike. I have never been married and I have no kids. I love snowboarding, working out, dancing, watching movies, reading, traveling and be spontaneous from time to time. I like all kinds of music, but I usually dance to just hip hop. Not sure if you are a Rick Martin fan or not, I am not, but I just heard of his songs from a while ago "She's All I ever Had", it's actually pretty impressive.

I currently work as a risk manager for a corporation and also I am personal trainer on the side. As you can see I do have a stable job and a reliable car, so you won't have to worry to push because I've been there and done that.

I am stable, fun, easy going, trustworthy, passionate, and I hate arguments. I am always available to open conversation and I am definitely a good listener. I often hope that people would feel better after talking to me, and I try to give positive suggestion and encouragements all the time. Just out of curiosity since you didn't mention this in your ad, are you religious? How important is good family value to you? and where do you see yourself in 5 years from now? Talk to you soon, bye.

P.S. I was trying to send my pictures but the files are too big and the email came back. So if you like what you read, can you send me a email so I can send my pictures to your email address instead of craigslist's link, thanks.

W***

(11)
I understand what you guys are doing and i respect that.

It sounds like you would be someone I'd be into but i don't want to go through the rest. I'd rather just talk and meet you like i would anyone else on any other day.

I'm a business owner as well and i fit some of what you're looking for the rest we'll findout later.

well, you can email me and i wish you well.
*(Includes lousy face pic, as well as a scan of his business card. He's a mortgage broker--a real winner.)

(12)
I'm not one to respond to a CL post but couldn't resist here. You and "Geoff" sound like you deserve each other. No offense but a guy making 52,000 and driving a piece of shit car and you want his approval?

And you, put make up on dead people, what a catch.
Honey, if you ever simply want a guy who eats pussy better the Geoff call me. (oh, and if he did that right you'd still be with him)

Funniest post I have ever read!
*(Good email with good grammar.)

(13)
Your a nut....the reason guys can't find a decient girl in LA!

(14)
Like Love Connection? That show still on? Anyways, this sounds more
like a competition between two kids than a girl who wants to meet
some cool guys. If you're serious, when you email back, give me 3
reasons why we should meet, attach another pic so I know you're not
really 300lbs or a man, and get my response. ;)
*(Includes a picture of a slot machine that says '777.' Because I think he thinks he's a winner. That's why he's writing to 300 pound men on Craigslist.)

(15)
Poor Geoff. I work for the City also. I tried to find your boy in
CiyFone,
but there are a few Geoffs to weed through. $52K isnt a whole lot of
money
for a City job - the boy must not have had too much college, public or
otherwise. Ok ABOUT me: Yes I love to pamper and have a good time, most
good
guys do. Geoff (your current boyfriend) is 5'10", I'm about the same
even a
bit shorter. 5'9"+. He makes $52,000 working for the City of Los
Angeles;
like I said I make $134,759.52 to be exact. We have many things to talk
about over dinner (trust me). He drives a Nissan Sentra; I drive
something
nicer (I have 2 BMWs). He went to a public university; I went to a
public
university (BS and MS). Like most things in life bigger isn't always
better,
it's about what you do with it. If you are really interested I will
send a
pic, Geoff is a nice guy I'm sure. Most City employees are good people.
The ball is in your court sweetness.

(16)
*(The guy who wrote (15) next emailed a list of Geoffs that work for the City of Los Angeles and asks which one is mine. He said it was out of the internal city employee phone book. Jesus. If I worked for the city and I knew that this guy did this, I'd be furious. What a dumbfuck. Any ideas? Who should I contact at the City of Los Angeles to report him?)

(17)
hey whats up latino guy 24 male 6'3 athletic, fun and smart
here is my pic let me know what you think ok....
*(Includes picture of group photo with EVERYONE's elses heads cut off. Not literally, of course, but still really weird.)

(18)
Haha, College of Santa Fe! I went there! What a horrible school! Who is this? Even if you remember me, you probably wouldn't recognize me now. I ran into a CSF alum recently at a movie theater. It truly is a small world when you can recognize someone from a tiny NM art school in the second biggest city in America.

Rather than being an inch taller than your current BF, I'm an inch shorter. It's really your good fortune unless you walk around in 3 inch heels everywhere.

I also have better looking feet (those look like they belong to one of your "clients") and can practically guarantee I do better Halloween costumes than him. My car is better than a Sentra, but hardly a status symbol in these parts (although it's pretty unique). I'm not a Republican, either, which I think is a selling point.

I'm not going on a date with you and Geoff, although I think he probably deserves a free meal for putting up with your cockamamie schemes.
*(No picture included, but isn't it a small world?)

(19)
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*(GODDAMNIT! NOT AGAIN!)