A Response to the Riddler: Replies to CL Ad

Before I post the TOP responses, let me reiterate that the riddle is completely bogus. I made it up. There is no solution, because it's complete bullshit.

That said, enjoy the responses to the ad (with many stabs at the answer):

(1)
I've got to know if my answer is right.

They can all leave the room, just not at the same time.

The antellope can roll the cantaloupe out, then the ant and the antellope can walk out one after the other.

(2)
I'm gonna have to ask you some questions about this antelope.
What would say is the size and weight of this animal?
does it speak? What are the dimensions of the doorway this antelope
entered? Does, it have a name? What color was it?. Now, this Ant.
can it speak? Does it have superpowers like mind control, super strength, or a hadookin?...As for the cantaloupe...That bastard!!!! was it sleeping with ant's wife?
A 'back door Man" or in this case a back door cantaloupe? Does it associate with a panda with bad camouflage and an immitation crab?..THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!

THINK ABOUT THESE QUESTIONS... CLUES ARE EVERYWHERE...

Hey, that was THE GREATEST PICK UP LINE EVER!!!
I read your Ad when I should of been looking for an apartment...
Your ad was an interesting read...I really like the activist side you write about.
I am active in some causes myself..I had not planned to respond to an ad, But
I have to know more about you...."the side of your head is HOT!!!"...
I'll send a pic if you like.....Fuck it! here goes....
*(Includes two pictures. One is just picture of this tool looking at the camera. In the other, the tool holds a guitar he's probably about to put on eBay when he realizes he spent too much on an instrument he can't play and had no idea he'd actually have to learn it if he wanted music to come out of it. Schmuck.)

(3)
Dear Dragonfly,


Perhaps I'm not getting the motivation for why these items/animals should leave the room and what, if anything determines the order in which they should leave. If its the case that all items in the room must leave at the same time it would be simple enough for the ant to eat the cantaloupe then the antelope eats the ant and strolls out the door. Is the door open? If not, only the ant can leave.

You're absolutely right, it is trippy :)

This Duvantin you speak of... I think it might be similar to Victory Gin :)
http://www.studentsfororwell.org/

My story:
27/latino/6'3"/195

Rutgers Philosophy undergrad. Grew up in New Jersey, lived in NY for a few years, now I live in P****. I'm a producer/project manager for a motiongraphics studio [b****[DOT] tv]

Sounds like you have a penchant for the the awkward. I love awkward.

check my myspace for pics and profile:
myspace [DOT] com/i****

(4)
Post witnessing your ad, I am bereft of breath. Your ad, disambiguate, is empyreal, with a piqued run-on sigh...


>Who can leave the room, and who must stay behind?

Every insectoid, mammal and the scores that dwell in the paranucleus may withdraw from the room. The insect may journey along his chemically winsome path. The antelope, in one temerity swoop of its head, has propped the melon securely on its horns. Generalissmo in disposition, the antelope begins its descend, but after a cacophony of antelope shrieks and hooves crashing against all in the periphery. Generalissmo then, but now the mollycoddle with metal leg braces who have endured a impromptu bob-sled crash to the bottom. If this not quells for an answer, then my answer is: there is no answer.

As for the flora nomenclature, I wrest Hyacinth or my diadem, the Dionaea. May you be the Blue Orchid? (so euthanize me, for I surmised).

Caveat emptor.

~A***
*(Includes pic of two dudes.)

(5)
Hello Pretty Angel ,
Before I Proceed Further I think it will be Polite for me to Introduce myself to you.
My Name is l**** Lived In los angeles InCarlifornia, I am 5'9 Tall average body and mixed race I'm 35 years of age,i was born in Palemo In Italy, though my dad is from Palemo in Italy but my mom is an american.
h. I am a single,i have 1kid his name is m**** he is **yrs.i have been divorced for about 7 years now.....
I am a christian by Religion and also a Caring,Nice,Kind,Faithfull,Loyal and God Fearing Man.I have spent my life getting involved with the arts as an artist though i am not yet accomplished.i dopaintings of portraits and i also make collections of artifacts and sculptures...
I am a Man of High Moral Integrity....Kind and Very Supportive..I belive I am the Type of Man a woman would Love to spend the rest of Her Life with becos I have the Qualities a Man should have.I do drink socially But i dont smoke.
Well i just joined the site and was browsing through profiles when i came across yours, your picture did catch my eyes and I really wish to know more about you and that is why I decided to write you on here and see where it lead Us to.No one knows where the right one Lives...But we all Pray to God so that we can have the right Person to spend the rest of our Life with.
Also I am willing to Relocate if I found the Right woman and I don't care where ever she Lives or stays..But I would Love to know More about you as well .
I would Love to chat with you on my Yahoo Id- ******@yahoo.com..so if you Intrested in getting to know more about me as well..you can Reach me Overthere and we can start to Communicate Overthere
*(WTF?)

(6)
Hi, I hope this email finds you in good spirits. I'm so torn in writing it, you seem like exactly the kind of girl I get along with really well; but honestly these days I am more a "change the system from within" kind of person, and quite frankly, I don't believe in activism without heavy research first... Which is the sticking point. The first date you propose? You should investigate it. Duvantin doesn't exist, nor does a government conspiracy to feed it to us. What DOES exist is a little production company called Malfunction Films that is currently working on/promoting what looks to be a blair-witch style indie satire about a government program (that doesn't exist, and comes from a fictional government department at that) to feed the nation happy pills. Now, was this to gauge the cleverness of respondents, or are you just the sort who loves a good protest, regardless of what it's for?

The ant and the antelope can leave the room, though apparently not at once.

Your pal,

Mr. Spinach Salad

(7)

the antelope stays behind right?

(8)
if they can all leave one at a time then wouldnt they all leave? Well, not the cantaloupe, it would have to be eaten or left behind.

(9)
Oh jesus!!! I'd eat the canteloupe myself, step on the ant and I would leave the room...I dont care about the antellope. He can leave too. THATS THE WAY I ROLE!!! (What movie?)
*(Includes pic of tattooed fucking loser. He's so tough, dude! In one, he's taking his picture with a camera phone. In the other, he's glaring at the camera. So angry. What movie? How about stop living your life through movies and get your own life. That's how I role, ya whore.)

(10)
The answer is: The cantaloupe leaves first! Here is how: The ant and the antelope (I believe you meant antelope, not antellope, but that's minor) start to fight for the fruit. Maybe the ant crawls up to its butt and stings it close to a particularly sensitive area, the fact is that the antelope in pain kicks the a cantaloupe by chance and the fruit rolls down the stairs, acquiring speed and momentum on its way down. The door to the outside is half open (45 degrees?), the cantaloupe hits it and two things happen: 1) the cantaloupe bounces out of the house on an 90 degrees angle towards the sidewalk, rolls down to the pavement where it is crushed by a car passing by. Later on it is removed by a street sweeper; 2) the door hinges wide open under the cantaloupe impact, hits the wall behind and bounces back closing and locking itself in one move. Neither the ant nor the antelope can leave, 'they must stay behind', possibly for their own good.

Another riddle: Imagine for a moment you are getting dexterously sodomized. Your first neurobiological reaction it is from: a) your G spot, as intense pleasure; b) your brain's limbic system, as a hormonal discharge in your bloodstream; c) your brains's grey matter as a philosophical reflection on your connection to the universe in general and this guy in particular; d) all the above; e) other (explain).

Dear unknown: I had fun reading your post last night. The above was meant to return some of it to you and did not mean to be disrespectful, just a bit freewheeling. Write back and we will go from there. I am using my undercover (Clockwork Orangish) address for this. Later on, if all goes well, I will use the regular one. Best.

(11)
To start with I normally suck at these things pretty badly, but here it goes..

1) They all leave, they each eat the cantelope and exit, so technicaly the cantelope exits, it's just inside the other two
2) The ant leaves. The ant can't eat the entire cantelope and the antelope obviously can't use the stairs

I'm sure there's many more possibilities, and I'm also certain I am over analyzing this, but I would love to hear the answer.


(12 - WARNING: Horribly long and idiotic email!)
Hello Lady!!

Riddles are fun, I don't know any off hand. I do though like puzzles and
being totally silly!! Hence my e-mail in following. So if you can get
through it with out a smile .... Hmm I don't know what to say. If you
laugh or smile then all is good in the world !! LOL So sit back and
enjoy and I hope I intrigue you with my response.

This country has gone the way of the idiot !!! One nation under DOG ...
oops I mean god .. I am a writer and artists. yes published and dirt
poor, acturally dirt is too expensive, I can only dream about having
dirt for my own. Sense of humor ?? What on gods green earth is that ????
I have an etche sketch memory . I know I was talking about some thing...
Oh yes thing great little critter ! I have a wicked silly sense of
humor, my sense of humor like George Carlin and Robin Williams mixed
.... Too much "caff-a-ine" is ggogoooggooodoooddoddd (good) !!! Must
slow down my brain, Oops!

The squirrels made me do it !! Your not buying this are you?? Okay
moving on .. I'm a 6'1" 160 lbs Gorilla .... Irish Gorilla .. You know
the knuckle dragging type. I have blew eyes (oops I mean blue) my hair
is chest brown (oops there I go again Chestnut Brown) But I'm a decent
looking gorilla who can't spell worth a damn at times. Must fix that
some day ...Not right now.

I love to kayak ... Kayak is another word for trying to drowned oneself.
I'm completely blind and I skydive ... It scares the hell out of my dog
!!! LOL Just kidding, I see fine. Well ...another deep subject ... I
mean, well not in the dark ... I keep tripping over things .. I swear
the furniture is conspirering against me ... Yeah thats it !! I disavow
all knowledge of this e-mail.

Again I mispell the bloody hell out of tginhs (things) ... LOL Oh yes
I'm completely insane, I have to be to live in Los Angeles... I swear
its in the water !!

Vices ? I have one and it gets alot of use. Comes in real handy when I
needto fix someting, Oh wrong vice ?? None .. I don't smoke nor drink
..Well ... again another deep subject ... I do drink ..you know water,
juice, tea, soda .. LOL I sleep alot ... or maybe thats only at
ZZZZZZZZZZ ... I'm sorry that damn narcalepsy again !! I'm a cat person
... I have many !! I find I lick myself regularly MEOW!

I have only one ... A needy female cat that looks like a four legged
orca.. When I sleep she cry's thinking shes all alone.. Sad sight I
swear, I can't find a good cat threapist ... no one speaks cat !!

I haven't gotten to the good part yet .... What was I saying , that damn
etche sketch memory again ... yes no .. I was dead at the time !! You
can't prove it was me so HA ha !! If I seem abit odd I have succeeded
... I'm special, I rode the little bus growing up ... LOL

In all seriousness, I'm really laid back and fun loving. I am a
professional artist and writer, I have traveled to 29 countries and seen
lots of cool things in m life. I do have a wicked silly sense of humor.
I also posted an ad on CL titled "loving artist seek loving companion"
its in the men seeking women catagory. There is a photo and a long
desciption of who I am and what I am looking for. Its all lies I tell ya
LOL!!!

If you got this far with out thinking that I am completely insane I give
you kudos. Here would you like a kudo ?? LOL I'm very sane, doing what I
do takes alot of focus and imagination. But mostly I have to have my
wits about me to function. I meet alot of people who might see me
goofing with my mates and think I am totally daft, I really don't care
what other people think of me, yes I do, No I don't, but I do, no you
don't LOL I am happy wth who I am and nothing will shake that. Except
wen I have anxiety attacks ... Bad me !!

I'm not a boy ...I just play one on TV... LOL I'm very caring and kind.
I love animals. people I could do with out LOL ... I do love do have
fun. I'm highly adventurous, I've met several psychos (people) off of CL
or was that psychics LOL .. Some didn't need a mate they needed a
psychologist!! Others were just fine, we didn't click. I moved on and am
still searching. I'm not a one nighter type nor am I unfaithful. I have
an excellent self esteem and a good sense of life and the world. Wheres
my asprin ???

I'm very cultured and enjoy lots of different and engaging events. I'm
fit and active. Plus my coat in nice and shiny LOL ... Sorry can't help
it, Bad jokes and comments invade my mind and just pop out. Its evil I
tell ya !! The voices in my head are in spanish and I speak english !!!
Very frustraiting !! LOL Kidding there are no voices in my head ...But I
do get the sound of a small object being loose if I shake my head too
hard .. Kidding !! LOL

Okay I'll pipe down !! But again in all seriousness I am just a guy Or
at least the last time I looked I was !! Life in the big city it has
destroyed ... well ..deep subject ... I'm not sure what it did. I that
people disease ... you know having no idea to function like a rational
... what is rational ??? Please tell me I have no Idea .. LOL I'm so
lost EEEK !! LOL

Okay I'm going to run, my mind is escaping again and I must retrieve it.
Take cake, oops I mean care and party on !! This is mind gone wild!!
Sorry ... I hope you have enjoyed this installment of P**'s mind totally
... well you tell me?? I now return you back to your normally scheduled
e-mail. Smile your on Candid E-mail

Cheers
P*** in V****

(13)
it takes seven cigarette butts to make a new full cigarette. how many cigarettes can you make with 49 butts?

(14)
Oh you are fun! A true spirit...love it! What I have been seeking in this crazy ass town. I am a production designer...I go to burning man every year...well almost.
*(This fucking putz included a picture of himself. Mr. Pretentious wears facial hair that makes his face look like an ass. No shit.)

(15)
I need help with the riddle. I feel like the german officer in "Life is
Beautiful" anyways what's your name? I'd really,really, REALLY like to get to
know you. Maybe you can help me with the riddle over coffee. Is there a rally
coming up...?

A***

(16)

OK, before I spend too much time on this -- I assume that the antelope can eat the ant, right? You said that it can eat the cantaloupe twice. Also, is the cantaloupe actually capable of leaving the room, anyway?

Oh yeah. And you sound pretty awesome from your post. But I thought I'd try the riddle first

(17)
What's the answer? I came up with all kinds of scenarios! Like the antelope can eat the cantaloupe, and the ant can climb onto the antelope,,hummm???

(18)
Hint!!! Men read the first line...maybe two. Waist of time.... J***
*(Really? 74 responses. I think I know how to write an ad by now. Learn to spell waist. Here's how you know: you're a waste of space, and you have a 46 inch waist. Get it?

(19)
Good morning,
just read your post, looks interesting. Let's see..
Me: 33 y.o. guy from Spain, 4 years living in LA,
special events decorator, amateur musician, 5'10, fit.
Into classic/independendent movies and music. Love
nature, walks, conversation. Hate crowds, anything
mainstream. Pic attached. Interested?

Hey.

PS:
-Your riddle, is it analogous to the
wolf/sheep/shepherd classical one or has any kind of
hidden twist?
-My hippie name is Patchouli, i should meet you in
person in order to give you one.
-I'm a former member of my country's Communist Party,
I reject any kind of violence.
*(No pic. Fucking liar.)

(20)
Hi,

Well the ant would start eating the cantaloupe and go inside while the antellope would want to eat the cantaloupe too.. would charg towards it and the cantaloupe would start rolling down the stairs with the antallope following and the ant being inside the cantaloupe.. so see.. all of them get out.. you should get out more often too!

You sound like my kind of girl :) What'd you do for new years? I went to big bear and went snowboarding.. was great. I think I'm going to go again next weekend :) Here's more of my pics http://www.****.com/*** the one with the longer hair is most recent.. I live in the valley.. Have two dogs (dalmations) so hopefuly you're a dog person. I am fun, sensual, funny, intelligent and a great conversationalist. Have great hands and both feets :D

If you like my pics.. you'll like me better in person .. even if you don't like my pics you'll like me better in person.. you're just going to like me.. you're getting dizzzzzy.. you're just going to reply and ...(to be continued)...

Talk to you soon,

-R**
*(He's asking about New Years? It's the middle of February.)

(21)

...doesn't exist. It's a fictional drug for an upcoming movie!

(22)
The ant can leave by going under the door. But the antelope cannot open the door, No hands to turn the knob.

(23)
Hello,

you are, hm, interesting :D

I am 38, got my ba at the univ. of wa.
got my teaching cred at csulong beach,
and am in an ma program through ufl.
my job is as a teacher of latin, and by
latin I mean latina lingua - the language
of the romans. i teach at high school.
activism - intriguing - i have done some,
not ever been a totally overt activist.
duvantin - it's to help stop the spread of
hpv - the virus that is the culprit for women
and cervical cancer - some govt. agency has
said that it would be wise to start vaccinating
young girls between 11-13, it takes 3 shots.
The other day TX gov. enacted it in his state
as a mandate that cannot be overturned by
the lawmakers - using his executive powers.
I am on both sides for this issue - it is a great
idea to vaccinate young women, but to make
it mandatory is a bit of crossing the line.
But - if you could take a shot and this shot could
greatly minimize or completely banish the
chance of ever having cervical cancer - well, that
has got to be on every woman's mind.

Well - i do read, and like to talk, and like to learn,
and live in h****, live alone, my
mother lives 1200+miles away, only have close
friends near by.

the antellope eats the ant and the cantaloupe.
well, i am artistic, poetic and intellectual.
like to talk. sensitive. ebullient, and reserved.
well,
E**
*(Wrong, schmuck. That's the HPV vaccine. Duvantin is a completely fictitious drug.)

(24)
I think both the ant and the antelope can leave the room. Unless antelope can't go down stairs...

I'm older than you, am a lawyer, and my protest days are in the past. But, I am politically active, and help raise money for good candidates. I do admire people who really care about something, who aren't cynical and who are still idealists.

I've attached a picture, I am sort of hunched over in the pic, I was talking to someone at a dinner party, so its not the best pic, but its recent. Hope you have a great weekend, and keep fighting the good fight....Take care, R
*(No pic included. But he's a lawyer. He lies for a living.)

(25)
Hey there,

Let's go out.

***-***-****

(26)
hello the ant because non of the 3 can open a door and an ant can crawl under it to get out but ill take him years to get down the stairs. hello im r*** 37 not an activist but ill try anything 3 times if im drunk enough haha. how goes the battle, Shaaplie

r****
aka born to be mild

shaaplie=
she who attends all protest in excitement.

(27)
man that is an interesting story well hello how are you i actually read all of your stuff pretty long well i am brasilian guatemalan hispanic i guess love to surf and the beach attend **** math econmics major i am six feet tall 200lbs well :)smile

(28)
No I don't like motion. I prefer lying around 24/7. ; - )
D****
I hold a doctorate in English literature so I can write volumes to you if you care.

(29)
Hey there!!! This is D***.
I attached a photo,
I'm in Culver also,I am 41 (yes that is me in the pic. I look and act younger)
I 'm fit energetic, I am retired so I have alot of time to do the things i Love to do.
I Volunteer my time everyday to help design the patio at a famous Venice local hangout with painting famous art.
I kayn spail aynd riyte (oh yea!! I have a sence of humor)
I see you like protesting, And stand up for gay rights.
Are you Bi-sexual? I am a very very opened minded guy As I am Bi.
I have an ex wife and two kids,But I am 100% baggage free...
They live in Texas.
when I fall in love with someone,I dont fall in love with the sex of the person,I fall in love with who the person is inside.
I might not be marriage material,But I bet you have never met such a likable person that have multi talents as me. I get along with everybody .
I dont know what attracted me to your ad,But something told me stop,look,and read it,And I like what I read. So If I can buy ya a cup of Joe at the Boardwalk this week,I'd be honored.. You can read up on me on MySpace.
http://www.myspace.com/****
email me at ****@yahoo.com
*(I recognize this email. I think he may have responded to a previous ad with the same shit. In his pic, I thought he looked way older than 41. I think him trying to look less than 41, though, doesn't help, and makes matters worse.)

(30)
i want to give it my best try rediscover wut the gurlfriend means to a man e mail me bye
*(WTF?)

(31)
Hi,

Our politics will not entirely mesh, but precisely that is the reason that I am interested in you. I am not at all interested in filling my life with people who feel entirely the same as I do--where is the opportunity for growth as a human being in that?

But what I AM attracted to in your posting (besides your adorable picture) is the fact that you are PASSIONATE about life, and the way you approach it. I feel that I am the same way. And so while I am sure you are getting a lot of responses, I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring here and see if you respond. I am sending my photo (a very bad photo taken on my cell phone) under separate cover.

I hope to hear from you. While I am busy on the 10th (I have a friend here from out of town leaving that day), I love your idea of a first date. And my guess--and it is a guess--to the riddle is that the antelope consumes the cantelope and the ant stays behind. If you hadn't mentioned that it is a "who" that gets left behind (which I am guessing means an animal and not a "thing"), then I might have guessed something else. But there it is... I'd love to hear from you!

E***

(32)
I love riddles very much.
They all can leave together cuz they all are related and therefore they wont eat each other.

ANT
ANT_ellope
C_ANT_aloupe

*(Dude MUST be high.)

(33)
The ant leaves, the antellope stays and feasts off the cantaloupe? I'm curious to hear what the answer is.

(34)
duvantin, it's a zombie maker pill. all humanoids should follow orders with out question, don't you think. now take your duvantin and take your clothes off. smile too.

(35)
Hey,

Is it the ant?

Because the ant will leave first, the antelope will eat the cantaloupe, then leave.

Right?

T

(36)
I love riddles too, I just challenged my fourth grade
students with some on Friday. They're not quite ready
though. My quick answer is to just answer the
question as asked. Who can leave, who can't. The ant
and antelope can leave, the canteloupe can't. It is an
inanimate object. Will any of them be able to open
the door though, I think not.
TJ
*(I feel a soft spot for teachers. I emailed him to tell him the riddle is made up. Of course, if his students piss him off, he can assign it as homework and whoever gets it wrong is held back a grade.)


(37)
are you searching for people with common sense with that riddle? I thought you wanted an artiste!

anyways, the cantaloupe is a cantaloupe so it can't leave the room. it doesn't have legs. the antelope can't leave either because it can't go down the stairs (I think it's the same as cows right?). so, only the ant can leave the room. unless the antelope kicks the canteloupe out the door. but, why on earth would it do that.

anyways, totally non-original and too much sense in this one.

thought your posting was pretty cool though.

I'm 27 and a graduate student in cell biology (and although most people have no clue -- it requires tremendous amounts of artfullness combined with a bunch of "recipe"-reading-styled prespiration-inducing hard work). I live in Palms. I'm a liberal talker (not much of a do-er but I'd like to change that). total music nerd and lover here. definitely active -- marathon runner, volleyballer, soccer player, triathaloner. California native and love it here. physically, you can see below. but, basically, I'm tall (5'11") and skinny.

Brian

here's my myspace ... www.myspace.com/****.

"cuentame si quisieras andar conmigo"

That's it. I'm done. I need food and I've got other shit to do. There's others if you really want to read more. Just ask.